RHOA: Recap

If You’ve Got It, Haunt It




The episode begins with Kenya attending Marlo’s pop-up “event” being held in the lobby of some obscure Atlanta boutique hotel (amidst the pandemic? However, unlike most trunk shows, Marlo is renting, not selling her high end designer duds, jewelry, and accessories from her own personal collection. I’m guessing Halloween probably has something to do why she’s renting (and not selling) such gorgeous designer merchandise. It remains unclear how exactly, like by what means Marlo has acquired such an immense collection of insanely expensive items, but I’ve always liked Marlo and admired her hustle. Speaking of hustling, fellow hustler Falynn is on hand and Kenya once again finds another occasion to slut shame a costar by telling Marlo may want to think twice about renting her garments to WAP’s (lik Porsha).  Falynn invites Marlo and Kenya to a Halloween party just for the girls.  Kenya accepts, but Marlo announces she has already made other plans. More on the party later.


Cynthia is still on cloud nine over marrying Mike and we are treated to previously unseen flashbacks of her NINE minute sometimes risque wedding vows. Cynthia is over the moon over Mike, and tells her guests that she has never really experienced this kind of love before as she gushes about Mike’s after shave, his voice, and presumably every other inch of him. While having breakfast at a local eatery, Mike announces to Cynthia that he wants to buy a home in Atlanta; one larger than Lake Bailey.  In the talking head that immediately follows, Cynthia is telling us that she’s giving up Lake Bailey completely understanding of the fact that Mike wants a fresh new start in a home that they purchased together. I wish Cynthia well, but something about Mike still doesn’t sit well with me.



New cast member Drew got a lot of air time this episode; I’m guessing at either Kandy or Porsha’s expense.  Drew is curious about her biological grandfather, so she consults with her live-in guest mother, Pastor Jeanette, who shares a few tidbits about experiencing racism/segregation during the Jim Crow era when she visited the south as a child.  As somewhat of a self-proclaimed historian, I knew that Jim Crow (supposedly) ended in 1954, so I started doing the math to see if such a scenario involving a seventy-eight year old black woman added up.  As it turns out, Jeanette would have been in her 20’s, so her claims are indeed entirely possible.  But I digress; Drew is curious about her biological grandfather and wants Jeanette to provide her with any information she can, but Jeanette is not interested in walking down Memory Lane; however Jeanette does reveal that too was adopted and that her great-grandfather was white.  Unlke her daughter, Jeanette is not interested in finding out who her real father was.  She's quite content with knowing that her parents loved her, and that’s enough for her.



Speaking of family bloodlines and paternity, Drew shares with us that her ex (fresh out prison) wants to get to "reconnect" with Josiah, the now 9 year old son whom they had together, apparently right before he was sent to the slammer. Josiah ain’t having it, but noble (present step daddy) Ralph steps in and tries to convince Josiah that he should cut his dad some slack.


All the women are arriving at Falynn’s Halloween party except Marlo, who told us earlier that she had already earned her per diem for this episode made other plans (apparently Halloween is a busy time in Marlo’s profession, whatever that may be). The women enter Falynn’s gorgeous Halloween decorated home and all gather in the kitchen.  Immediately, it becomes painfully obvious that this is no “party” at all, but merely a small kiki for all the girls (and of course a chance for the hostess herself to get a little camera time). Apparently the budget was spent on all the seasonal Home Depot décor and props, because barely a morsel of food was being provided (a reoccurring this season). Latoya is the last to arrive, and she’s even more parched than usual, and I don’t just mean in a hydration sense; she's ready to rumble. She demands that she be served a cocktail (or ten) personally by the host.  At first, Falynn basically tells her to kiss her ass, but then evidently remembers that she’s now a proper married society lady, and obliges. Kenya is still mad at Latoya for telling all the girls about Marc's demand for alimony and takes her aside to chastise her.  An odd lesbian-like conversation about loyalty and fidelty ensues and Kenya tells Latoya that they're through!  Um OK, mind letting the viewers in on this?  They return to the kitchen table and what appeared to be just moments later, Latoya announces that she’s bored, and is leaving. Predictably, Latoya gets the reaction that she was hoping for as Porsha follows her to the door while the “aunties” Cynthia, Kandi, and Kenya clutch their pearls in feigned outrage. Things go from bad to worse as Latoya begins (((screaming))) obscenities and all the usual insults from her car in Falynn’s courtyard. Latoya obviously has no boundaries and one (or five) of her insults apparently really cut deep, because suddenly Falynn is seen running through the kitchen and heading for the garage to fetch a golf club (to presumably beat the crap out of Latoya with).


As the dwindling ratings indicate, this has arguably been a rather lackluster season for RHOA, but for the most part, I am enjoying it. Next week, the season begins to wrap up as Drew hosts a “real” girl’s trip to New Orleans.  I'm sensing another Gizelle-like history lesson on slavery already.