The drunken ladies have returned to the Hawthorn Hotel following another dinner from hell in Salem, MA. Apparently, Bershan showed up in Leah’s room looking for a melatonin, only to find Sonja still giving Leah some sort of slurred monologue that Leah was too polite to cut short. Bershan then made the fatal mistake of asking Sonja if she was drunk, and that was all it took. Sonja was like, “What did you ask me?”, and then all hell broke loose. One would think that Bershan has been around long enough to know that it’s never a good idea to ask a drunk person if they’re drunk. Mind you, we don’t see any of this … this is the next morning and Leah recounting the narrative via the proverbial black and white flashback footage. Apparently things got so heated that Sonja smashed one of the glass cases where the hotel keeps the fire extinguishers and/or axes. It's a rather sloppy scene that doesn’t make much sense, but I’m guessing the editors were left with a bunch of clips of wasted slurring women that they had to splice together, and finally just gave up.
Luann, Ramona, and Leah decide that Sonja needs an intervention; forget the fact that Ramona and Sonja were literally holding EACH OTHER up in the hallways of the Hawthorne just hours berfore. Lu doesn’t want what "happened to" her happen to Sonja; that is getting caught banging some stranger in the wrong West Palm Beach hotel room. Lu also tells Ramona that she needs to put a muzzle on Bershan with regards to the way she talks to her new group of friends.
So before they all begin another day of girl bonding, Ramona pulls Bershan aside and basically tells her “Yeah, we all know Sonja is a drunk, but you can’t say it to her face because it only makes her worse, so you just have to kind of grit your teeth and bear it and hope that JonJon’s yacht or the Nigerian soccer team doesn’t come up.”. Even though she did little wrong, Bershan agrees that she probably got too aggressive. I hope Ebony is taking notes.
The group takes a 40-minute ride to have lunch at another themed restaurant; this one with tables made from boats. BTW, have I mentioned how much I love New England? At the restaurant, Bershan offeres a heartfelt apology for being too “familiar” with a group of ladies she’s just met. This makes me recall a scene in Funny Girl when Fanny Brice’s cautious mother (Kay Medford) meets Nicky Arnstein for the first time and tells a smitten Fanny that “strangers should act a little strange". Bershan tearfully apologizes to the group, and even tolerates Sonja, who is still wounded from the night before.
After another 40 minute trek back to the hotel and another few hours in glam, it’s time for another real housewife séance. But first, let's get back to the glam shtick for a moment. Does anyone else find it absurdly ironic that the two youngest broke bitches need (let alone can afford) a fucking glam squad for a casual girl’s trip to Salem, MA? It's becoming a trend across the entire HW series now, and I just thought I’d get that off my chest ... back to the story at hand. Now normally, I’m not down with these séances, because as Leviticus so clearly points out in the Bible; psychics, mediums, necromancers, sorcerers, (and presumably seances) are gateways to Satan (and after seeing the Exorcist, I would add Oija boards to that list). But then again, according to Leviticus, I’m going to burn in Hell like a Salem witch just for being born gay anyway. Also, it is the Halloween season and they are in Salem, so whatevs.
Before the dinner/seance and while waiting for their table, Ramona, Luann, and Leah decide to conduct the world’s worst intervention for Sonja. But first, in a moment of hilarious irony, Ramona tries to discreetly snatch Sonja’s Espresso Martini from the nearby cocktail table as Sonja says “Does she think I’m stupid?”. When they finally confront her, a surprisingly calm Sonja explains to them that she feels safe to let loose around her girls, and what’s more, she doesn’t drink at home or when she’s alone. This is a valid argument, but as most addiction specialists would say, when drinking gets in the way of relationships, it usually means there’s a problem. Also, let’s just cut to the chase; speaking of relationships, it doesn't take a reality TV life coach to see that Sonja’s drinking is all part of the reason why she can’t sustain a romantic relationship, and why she’s failing in business, why she’s no longer fun to be around, and dare I say a contributing factor to RHONY's plummeting ratings. IMHO, like Luann, Sonja may not be an alcoholic in the physiological medical sense, but it’s time for her to stop drinking; at least until she gets her shit together. Maybe it was always going to take a séance to finally get through to Sonja.
They all sit down around the table as Medium Marion begins the séance. There is also some Asian dude on hand (I’m guessing the one who will make the table rise). He gives a message to Bershan from her grandfather who apparently become a mountain goat in the afterlife. Marion then tells Leah that her grandmother is there in the room, but the reception is as spotty as my DirectTV because Leah isn’t quite sold on the what these frauds are selling.
Now it’s Ebony’s turn. Marion talks to Ebony’s grandmother (who is barely cold) and tells her that she loves her attitude. She makes Ebony cry by telling her that her
mammy grammy wants Ebony to continue being a strong black woman. Marion obviously had a very long planning meeting with the producers.
Marion then channels Ramona’s brother, who died two years ago. She tells Ramona that he was a lost soul and he’s glad he’s dead because he was in a lot of pain. Ramona breaks down and says she neglected her brother at the end because she couldn’t fix him. “He was my brother and I pushed him away,” she sobs, as the veins bulge against the Botox in her forehead. She then collapses in Sonja’s crepey arms.
But it’s Sonja who has the real breakthrough. Medium Marion reports that Sonja’s dad is on hand for the festivities, and he is telling her that he’s mortified for what he did to Sonja. As all kinds of creepy thoughts go through my mind, Marion then asks if he had a drinking problem. Sonja nods and sobs. It seems that Sonja’s clown mask has finally been removed. Marion confirms my diagnosis, and tells Sonja that her drinking is at the crux of all of her problems, but adds one more to the list ... "abandonment issues". She tells Sonja that she needs to seek professional help. Sonja says, “I’ve recently started seeing a healer,” and Marion responds, “A healer is a great addition, but you need therapy”. Gee, ya think?
I really enjoyed this episode, not only because we got a break from Ebony's obnoxious preaching, but because they finally addressed Sonja's obvious alcoholism. I'm guessing production is finally listening to the viewers who have been concerned about this issue for years, and probably figured now was as good a time as any, especially since Luann and Leah are confronting theirs (BTW, kudos to them). I know I"m in the minority, but I'm actually enjoying this season.