The Bomb Finally Drops




It’s the morning after Sutton’s (bipolar?) breakdown, and she is sitting in her room with face roller in hand trying not to cry about the way the group has been  treating gaslighting her.  First Lisa, and then Kyle, comes into Sutton's room to comfort her, but Sutton isn't having it and proceeds to run down the list of names that she has been called over the past few days.  But Lisa and Kyle are about done and proceed to tell Sutton that she is being defensive, and not missing a beat, Sutton adds the term "defensive" to her literal list (of names the women have called her). We are then treated to a wonderful montage of all the things Lisa has been called throughout her years on the show.  Sutton’s list pales in comparison.



Lisa has planned a boat ride on Lake Tahoe, the same place where Michael Corleone had his brother Fredo killed in Godfather II. Garcelle takes yet another cue from production and asks Erika if she has spoken to Tom. Erika says that she talked to him that morning and he was back at the law firm. “He’s dedicated his life to being a lawyer; that is first and foremost in his life, and that is who he really is. He loves it, so God bless him” Erika gushes. Again I am thinking, we haven’t heard Tom’s name mentioned this much in Erika’s 5 seasons on the show.




Meanwhile, Glutton (for punishment) Sutton pulls Crystal aside for a completely one-sided chat. Again with face roller in hand, Sutton explains how upset she is, but Crystal just keeps responding with a smug “okay”. Sutton catches the shade and scolds Crystal telling her that “this isn’t the time for sarcasm”.  After all, she is “20 years older than her”.  Ice cold doesn’t even begin to describe Crystal’s demeanor, and as far as she’s concerned, she did nothing wrong, and tells Sutton that she was behaving irrationally and crazy. Add “irrational and crazy” to the list!  Sutton says, “Don’t call me crazy. It’s not true, and it’s not nice.”, but I’m thinking that right now in this scene, it sure looks true.




At dinner, Lisa brings up what happened last season between she and Denise and how she was accused of being a bad friend. As an analogy, Lisa repeats a story that Harry Hamlin told her about how he was friends with a man who had raped a woman. All of their friends went to visit this guy in prison, but Harry couldn’t just have blind devotion to this guy. She felt the same thing toward Denise. But admits that she handled the situation all wrong. Garcelle doesn’t miss a beat and says “agreed”. Lisa then says “I just wanted her to be transparent and vulnerable, and she wasn’t ready.”, insinuating of course that Denise Fucking Richards has lesbian tendencies.



Later that evening, after watching these women all pretending that they enjoy ping pong, shooting pool, air hockey, and foosball, Crystal (who skipped dinner) emerges from her room and talks to (a totally wasted) Kyle about what happened the night before. She mentions that when Sutton came into her room to return her coat (apparently there is a coat thief among them), Sutton caught her naked, and instead of just leaving the room immediately, Sutton made some off-the-cuff comment, insinuating that Crystal had found a better use for a “face roller” of her own. Crystal seems genuinely upset about this, but you could tell that Kyle was thinking “Is this bitch for real?”. But nevertheless, but tells Crystal that she simply MUST clear the air about this with Sutton. Cue Sutton.



The next morning, Sutton goes to Crystal’s room (again), but this time Crystal is not hiding her rage. However, her rage soon turns to tears as she tells Sutton that when busted into her room and caught her naked, she felt like her “boundaries were crossed” and her “(safe) space was violated”. See, this is what happens when you put 50+ year olds and 30-something snowflakes  together inthe same room. Sutton is of course completely shocked (even though Kyle tipped her off) and assures Crystal that she’s not a horny prison matron out of a bad Tori Spelling movie of the week.



During the last two minutes of the episode, the moment we have all been waiting for has arrived. It’s four days later after the Tahoe trip, and Kyle, Dorit, and Lisa have all woken up to a text from Erika informing them that she has filed for divorce from Tom Girardi. Naturally, they are all stunned, and as a viewer I’m thinking what an awesome mic drop moment this could have been had social media and 24/7 news cycles not ruined the suspense of these reality TV shows. But I digress; the women are all stunned, but moreover, they are thinking how did they just spent 3 days with a close friend who had recently drawn up divorce papers?  Something doesn't quite seem right,and I am guessing that Garcelle in particualr is going to have a field day with this.