We begin right where last week’s episode left off. Things came to a head between Sutton and Crystal C*nt Foo at Rinna’s backyard
COVID party. Crystal tells Sutton she’s just jealous, and Sutton begins to storm out, but not before telling Crystal that pants are ugly. To fill some readers in who may be just now joining in on the fun, Sutton walked in on (a naked) Crystal on the girl’s trip to Lake Tahoe a few weeks before, and ever since, Crystal has been telling the group that she felt “violated”, a term that obviously did not sit well with Sutton (or the other ladies). All Crystal had to do was take back that word, but she refuses to accept the word’s sexual connotations, and is sticking with it.
After some over-the-top coaxing from her cast mates like “You can do this" and "Just breathe“, they get Sutton to stay. Once again, Dr. Garcelle tries to mediate and asks Sutton “What do you need from Crystal (to move on)?”. But it’s clearly too soon as Crystal chimes in, “You’re an inappropriate, awkward person … period ... and then you want to cry and get empathy. You’re not going to get it!”. Sutton reponds with “I wasn’t crying to get empathy. I was crying because I wanted to leave!”. “Then leave!”, Crystal snaps back. Clearly realizing that the conversation is going nowhere, Sutton shuts down the argument with a calm, and very effective “Why are you always so mean?”. Crystal has no snappy comeback, but the entire group basically nods in agreement.
As always, the best part of these public spats are always the reactions from the other women, particularly on RHOBH, which is undoubtedly the “actress” in them. Case in point, during this exchange between Sutton and Crystal, the camera pans to the various looks of shock and disgust on each of the women’s faces, and I get a distinctive sense that NONE of these women can stand Crystal C*nt Foo. Throughout the ordeal, Kyle, Lisa, and Garcelle are GLARING at her, and even Kathy Hilton, who supposedly introduced her to the group, is actually reduced to tears. In a talking head, Garcelle tells us that to finally finish this fight, Crystal is going to have to bend a bit, but I am sure there will be plenty of millennial snowflakes watching who will be asking why does Crystal have to cater to Sutton’s feelings? Is this the white fragility that Eboni K. Nobody has been bloviating about on RHONY?
Apparently Kunty's hot toddies kick in, as Sutton suddenly does a 180 and comments that she actually likes Crystal’s (p)leather pants. So at least for now, the hatchets have been buried in Rinna’s backyard along with Harry Hamlin’s doomsday food stash.
We learn that Kyle, Kathy, and Dorit have all contracted COVID (just 4 days after leaving Lisa’s soiree ... hmm), so they all have to self-isolate for 14 daysor until Gov'r Gruesome Nusome tells them otherwise. Garcelle comes to visit Kyle at home and they have a social distance kiki from Kyle’s
mazza, um “main” bedroom terrace. Kyles tells Garcelle that (a stoned) Mo’ and the kids high-tailed it to Palm Springs the second Kyle was diagnosed. Meanwhile, Dorit was also ordered to stay away from her kids as well while Klueless Kathy takes up wreath-making within the confines of the Hilton Estate. BTW, it would be really easy to suggest that they were infected at Rinna’s (especially considering the time frame and incubation time of the virus), but if that were the case, the Hamlins and the other women would have most likely been infected as well. But as we all know, there is no rhyme or reason to the COVID beast ... I was just thankful that production spared us most of the (played out) reality TV COVID story line.
Again, most of the episode was about Erika, that is Bravo’s campaign to completely exonerate her from Tom Girardi’s alleged wrongdoings. That being said, Erika is clearly going through it, and whether she is involved or not (which I just can’t see), one thing is for sure … Erika Jayne is now THE most transparent “housewife” in the series. What a difference a season (or six) makes ... funny how an alleged embezzlement scheme will do that. NOTHING seems to be off limits and watching this episode, Rinna’s preseason forewarning of “Oh she’s talking baby” kept ringing in my head. Erika has gone from closely guarded ice queen to the queen of transparency, and although she might not realize it now, that can be very freeing. Personally, it reminds me of being dragged out of the closet, but we will save that for some other time.
It’s nice seeing the entire cast rallying around Erika. Lisa and Crystal come to visit Erika in her new “bungalow” (a term which has thankfully replaced “dollhouse”) and Crystal scoffs at Erika’s constant putting down its size. Let’s be real; any space that gives shoes and accessories its own room ain’t THAT tiny. Big sisters Erika and Lisa urge Crystal to keep an eye on the family finances which gives Erika the opportunity to tell us that she had no idea how much money there was or where it was coming from, and again, I’m buying it. For me, it’s completely plausible that trophy wife Erika had no knowledge of Tom’s specific business transactions … why would she?
In one of her (many) talking heads, Erika shares that years ago, she was being sued in a case in Arizona. When she asked Tom about it, he told her “not to worry about it”, and when she pressed him, he snapped “I don’t want to talk about it!” (#red flag). Then in another TH, a producer asked her when she first heard about the (present) lawsuit, and she said she couldn’t answer that. I thought that was unfortunate, because it would have established an unintentional timeline on whether or not the lawsuit had anything to do with Erika’s (seemingly abrupt) filing for divorce.
Kyle and Erika meet to go hiking, but before they can even blow air hugs and kisses at each other, Erika breaks down. Admittedly, I eat this shit up, but if Erika is just acting, than she deserves an Oscar. With mascara tears streaming down her face, she tells Kyle (on the verge of a breakdown herself), “My divorce is not a sham. It’s not!”. She continues, “No one wants to be in the position I am in right now. Being the possible target of a federal investigation is not cool, to have all those things said about you that are not true isn’t cool, and have everyone basically question everything. It’s lonely and it’s quiet.”. She (and the episode) concludes with “I have quite a story to tell and I can’t right now because it’s not the right time.”.
So what do you guys think; am I just being an impressionable softie, or is Erika just a far better actress than any of us knew?