Vanderpump Rules:  Lala Worries That Sheana is in Danger Gurl!

 

Ariana is hosting a Drink from Home party to see if drunk morons can follow cocktail recipes from her book.  Yes, she's still on that kick, and yes, it turns out that these drunk morons do in fact know how to read.  Katie is not present because she and Tom1 are still fighting over the name of their bar, and also because Katie trigger's Sandaval's traumatic emotional PTSD.  Also, they hate each other.  So Katie stayed home and baked cookies. After the cocktails, Scheana pulls Brock aside and tells him that Lala was digging into his deadbeat dad issues when they were shopping together.  Yes, we are to believe that she waiting until this little soiree to talk to him about this.  I hope she also told him at home, but she had to do this for story line purposes.

 

The couples (including big shot producer Randall) are all getting together at some L.A. restaurant for dinner.  Brock sits next to Lala, and what starts out an apology for triggering her motherly instincts (about HIS personal issues), he wastes no time going in for the kill.  Talk about passive-aggressive way to start this conversation!  He tells her is that there is more to the story than she knows, and maybe she shouldn’t be so concerned about Scheana should mind her own fcking business. However, he’s like, “Sorry if you got your feelings hurt.”.

 

See, that’s the thing; Lala didn’t know the full story, while Scheana says that she does and assures Lala that they have it under control.  But of course, Lala isn't done, and asks why he "can’t" see his children.  Becoming visibly P.O.'ed, Brock says tells Lala that he doesn’t want to discuss this “in this group of friends”, but will talk to her privately.  Of course what Brock is saying is that he doesn’t want to talk about it on-camera. 

 

LVP calls Sheana (insert eye roll here ___) and invites her over to Villa Rosa, because she still hasn't met Summer, Sheana's baby (forget about Lisa's podcast, when she said "Oh, Sheana had a baby too?").  Lisa suggests they might as well invite Lala as well (because she hasn't met Ocean yet either).  Sheana panics and says, "Why don't invite ALL the girls".  Crises averted (or at least she thinks). 

 

With waxworks Lisa at the head of the table, all the girls (except for Charli) awkwardly sip on tea and chomp on yummy tea, Scheana (stupidly)brings up how Lisa has never met Brock, Lala seizes the opportunity to bring up she and Brock's conversation the night before.  While she and Lisa commend Brock for catching up on child support, Lala says she wasn't trying to put anyone on the spot (by bringing up his kids).  Sheana squirms in her chair, and is clearly thinking "Really bitch you going there again ... here?  now?".  Of course at this point, LVP is salavating.  They go back and forth rehashing Brock's deadbeat dad ways, but then Lala catches herself and pauses, then simply says "Sheana?, more or less asking for permission to proceed. Oddly enough, Sheana, reading the trepidation on Lala's face, grants her permission. Lala then  blurts out "Because Brocks wife got a restraining order against him!".  ((MIC DROP)) ... another piece to the puzzle. 

 

What it boils down to is that Brock couldn’t see his children because his ex made a domestic-violence claim against him. Sheana suggests that Brock's ex is lying and then says that isn’t the reason Brock can’t see his kids. Yes, the reason he can’t see his kids is because he hasn’t paid his child support, so Scheana is technically correct but of course, that's only half the story.  The weird thing is, Lala is the one who is more upset, and she tearfully tells Sheana that she is concerned about she and her baby.  “It’s not just you. You have a child now,” she says.

 

Meanwhile, the guys are at Tom2's house having a little "All American" party of their own, complete with beer, wings, McDonalds, and apple pie ... not the deep fried McDonald's apple pie, but a homebaked apple pie. Scheana starts texting Brock about the above conversation at Villa Rosa, and Brock has a meltdown.  He calls Lala an asshole for sharing what he told her in confidence (off camera).  Reality TV rookie mistake!  His rage turns into tears as he says Lala should not be fucking with his "family".  Huh?  Suddenly they are his "family"?

 

While Sheana and Brock were the central focus of this episode, we learned that Tom2 is unable to obtain a home equity for their new bar, so Tom1 is temporarily covering it (which also gives him 67% ownership).  I have no idea where Sandaval is making money these days, but whatever.  

 

As the Schwartz's infertility story line continues, Tom2 and Quasi Katie are seeing their (in)fertility doctor.  The results of Tom's "deposit" are in ... seems too many of his swimmers are mutants with two heads.  So their doctor orders Tom to limit his 20-ish cocktails per week intake to just 4.  She also tells him that he is going to have to stop smoking weed and doing mushrooms (another piece to the puzzle).  He also has to stay out of hot water (literally), and wear loose fitting boxers (I added the last part).  The good news is (that is if you call these two potentially breeding "good news"), Katie's uterus is "pristine".  I don't mean to pry, but what else would a vacant uterus be? 

 

Then, for some pointless reason, in a confessional, Katie takes this time to share with us that she had an abortion 10 years ago.  She explains that she and Tom only had $300 dollars to their names, and that they were in no position financlally (or maturely) to start a family.  No arguments there, but was this really necessary?  Like is nothing sacred anymore?  Also, as if this chick isn't already hated enough.  Whatevs.