The Bachelor: The Final Nail

To begin with, I thought airing this one right off the heels of The Bachelorette was way too

soon. It seemed we were still talking about Clare and Tayisha when suddenly the new season

of The Bachelor dropped, featuring the "First man of color" Matt James (season 18 Juan Pablo

may have a few things to say about that). From the get go, I found Matt's awkwardness in front

of the cameras and complete lack of swagger to be really distracting. This man had no game,

and don't even get me started on that damn weird thing he was always doing with his mouth as

he nervously waited for his ~~line~~ turn to talk. I know they were all on strict lockdown while filming

this thing, but could no one find the poor guy some lip balm? The season dragged on and on;

one scene after another featuring Matt with his ever present two day stubble and while modeling

various styles of LuluLemons. Neither resident bad girl "Queen" Victoria or "winner" Rachael

Kirkconnell's (suspiciously timed) "controversy" could save this season from being called the

worst and lowest rated season in Bachelor history.

But every dark cloud has a silver lining. Kate will undoubtedly parlay her new found fame into

a lucrative reality TV career (hopefully one that doesn't involve skydiving), and Matt can now go

back to his comfortable life with Bachelorette season 15 finalist Tyler Cameron. It's a win/win

for all (except Chris Harrison).