Stick A Fork In It

 

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City has  finally come to an end. It’s not that I have intentionally avoided running down the reunion; there just hasn’t been anything worth talking addressing. Although it was a vast improvement from last season, it’s has also been an exhausting season and I’m ready for it to end.

 

As usual, this three parter was mostly just a waste of time. I will admit that that sped through and FF’d most of it. Also, I found Pimp Daddy Cohen to be particularly annoying this time around (he’s such a smarmy little worm). Nothing new was revealed, and the entire three parter could easily have been reduced to an hour (42 minutes).  So to save time, let's just bullet point the pointless.

 

Andy feigns disgust with Lisa Barlow's rants about what a whore Meredith is.

 

Lisa performs the proverbial “walk off”

 

Lisa repeatly apologizes and kisses Meredith’s ass as Meredith decides if she will ever forgive Lisa

 

Lisa then sucks up to Shrek and Witless, and Shrek tells Lisa that she has never forgotten that Lisa got her on the show

 

Witless apoligizes to Jen Shah for not believing her

 

Jennie Nguyen tells us that she will speak her mind more "next season" unaware that she has been fired for being a Republican

 

Jennie’s husband, Duy, reveals Jennie has had 9 (NINE) miscarriages and backpedals on the “Sister Wife” shtick

 

Duy has broken Asian tradition and sought therapy

 

Shrek doesn’t care if Jen Shah is innocent or not – she’s still her “friend”

 

Meredith’s husband, Russell, embraces Meredith’s alleged whorish behavior, adding that he whored around NYC as well and he really admires his wife for enduring the cameras while she grieved the loss of her father (halting production wasn’t an option).

 

Witless’s Rose's husband, Justin, makes liar out of his wife by telling Andy that only a small part of their “life savings” has in fact been  invested blown on his wive’s beauty line, which they both claim is doing great. Cousin Shrek chimes in and says “All of Whitney’s beauty products at her Beauty Lab “always sell out”.

 

Jen Shah continues to claim she's innocent and just as confused about her predicament as everyone else, as the cameras try to catch the other women rolling their eyes

 

Andy asks Jen to comment on her partner in crime, Stuart Smith turning state’s evidence ON her, but she feigns ignorance and says she can’t talk about it, then pretends that it doesn’t matter

 

Jen tells Andy that people forget how successful Sheriff is in his own right, suggesting that their (fake) oppulence depicted on the show is made possible by HIS huge paychecks.

 

Jen plays the race card and says that she and Sheriff’s opulence is being questioned only because they are black and brown

 

Coach Sheriff gets weepy when talking about his “babies” having guns pointed at them when their rental was raided, as Shrek and Andy try to hold back fake tears.

 

Coach Sheriff also breaks (black people’s) tradition by telling Andy that black should  embrace psychoanalysis as well

 

Andy Cohen and Jen Shah fist bump that she WILL be sitting on the reunion couch next season as well.

 

So there it is in a nutshell.  Looking ahead, with The Blessed Mary and Jennie gone, they obviously can't afford to lose Jen Shah, but since her trial is now postponed until July-ish, Bravo will be able to get another season out of her; that is, if they hurry up and start filming.   And that's a wrap.