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Bershan Flips On the BWitch Switch

 

The ladies are still in Salem, MA and still having dinner in a creepy tattoo parlor, and Eboni is still sermonizing the women on everything black (except which for the real issues), and Ramona is still deflecting and changing the subject. Even when Sonja chases after Ramona and disingenuously tries to defend Eboni, Ramona just tunes her out and repeatedly asks about the matchmaker whom Eboni set Sonja up with. Perhaps needing a little camera time, Luann gets in on the action to hear about the matchmaker too, but Sonja dismisses her and tells Ramona that Lu just wants a man (or four) for herself. Talking to Leah, Eboni says she doesn’t want to change Ramona; she just wants to “engage in a dialogue” with her … that is HER dialog and F everyone else.

 

They all return to the table and Eboni has an announcement to make. Just as all sorts of hopeful thoughts begin to run through my head (like she's quitting the show) Leah starts sobbing and thwarts Eboni’s announcement, making it all about HER. It is painful to watch, not only because she was stealing Eboni’s moment, but also because of the strain on Leah's face as she tries to muster up a few actual tears. Skilled actresses these women ain’t. Perhaps realizing that no one cares, Leah encourages Eboni to continue on with her announcement. *Drum roll … Eboni informs the women that her grandmother died too (false alarm).  In a display of phony affection, ALL of the ladies then descend on Eboni as she too tries to muster up a few tears. Mind you, just 5 minutes before, Eboni was schooling the women on black oppression, but being the courageous and generous soul that she is, she tells the women that and she didn’t want to tell them because she didn’t want to bring the vibe down. Translation: Like Leah, she barely knew her nanna either.

 

After dinner, we are reminded that these creepy tattoo artists ain’t just there to serve these bitches dinner, so Eboni and Leah each get their dead grandmother’s name tattooed near their hands. To virtually no one’s surprise, Ramona, Sonja, and Lu all pass on "defaming their bodies", as Ramona so eloquently puts it.

 

The next day, the ladies tour the Salem Witch Museum, which actually looked very cool. The museum is basically an outdoor fenced in area which looks like something right out of The Blair Witch Project, with primitive cabins and various torture devices all scattered about. The tour guides offer the ladies costumes to look the part, but only Leah and Sonja are good sports, and change into costumes that look like they were snatched off the set of A Handmaid’s Tale.  Not the least bit interested in the witches museum, Sonja is rambling on to Bershan about how water pills make her appear drunk, as Eboni and Leah look on, commenting on how Sonja is total denial about her alcoholism.

 

That night, the ladies are heading out for dinner, but before they leave, Sonja shows up to Ramona’s hotel room and finds another poop smear on the bathroom floor. For those keeping track, this is the third season in a row that Ramona has been on a trip where crap has appeared on the floor. I’m thinking twice is a coincidence, but three times is a trend … just saying. Sonja thinks this is hilarious and literally pees her pants laughing, as an unamused Ramona says that she simply spilled her makeup. I guess Ramona's story is feasible, but I’m thinking why would a woman put makeup on her face that looks like re-digested baby food?

 

The women end up at quaint little Italian restaurant which appears to have been rented out just for them, and as events unfold, we see why. No sooner do they place their drink orders, Bershan blurts out that she was expecting more fun on a girls trip, and even calls the women “grandmas”. Luann goes from zero to one hundred in two seconds flat, and using the similar tone that she used with Eboni just a few weeks before (when she threw her out of her house) Luann points to the door and tells Bershan that if she’s bored, she can leave. I’m digging how Luann’s newfound sobriety is making her more aggressive assertive. It’s now Bershan against the entire table, and the look on Eboni’s face clearly says “Man am I glad it’s the other black chick this time!”.

 

Ramona is in a particularly tough spot because SHE brought Bershan into this group. But Bershan isn’t backing down, and what’s more, she’s been listening to Sonja slur all day long, and she’s about done wif’it. Bershan then begins a hilarious meme-worthy imitation of (a drunk) Sonja, and calls her a clown. Just as the women become completely outraged that a stranger would have such audacity, Berhsan then shifts the focus off her and yells across the table (to Leah) that these women have been talking shit about her. Completely outraged, Leah says she’s leaving, but Bershan tells her it ain’t that serious and orders her to sit the F back down.

 

Back at the hotel, the completely wasted and (((loud))) women are exiting the limo bus as the other guests peer out their windows to watch the Real Housewives of New York City filming. Sonja and Ramona are wondering through the halls literally holding each other up, and they all eventually congregate in some sort of private library for one (or four) more drinks. Sonja continues to pester Bershan, and Bershan now in full sassy STRIKE ghetto bitch mode, screaming “Where are your words, bitch? Where are your words?”.

 

 

I have to say, I completely enjoyed this episode and found myself laughing out loud throughout most ot it. A lot has been said about the downer “preachy” theme of this season, but as far as I’m concerned, these women are bringing it, and anything is a vast improvement over last season.  However, as I posted yesterday, the ratings are terrible and there is talk about replacing the entire cast, but I think there is plenty of life left in the three OG’s.  I will never like Leah or Eboni, and I wouldn't miss either of them but I think we are stuck with both of them, so we may as well make the most of it.