The Gloves Are Off

 

 

We’re finally at the highly anticipated RHONJ Season 13 reunion and it didn't disappoint; in fact, emotions reached a fever pitch (that is if you subscribe to what they're selling).   After close to 20 years of tolerating each other (more than half of that on the show) , Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga are "telling it all", and the hatred is real.

 

The first part of the reunion wasted no time getting to the meat of the matter, that is Tre and Mel's mutual disgust for each other and Rachel and Danielle's beef over Margaret's "arsenal".  However, the latter was quickly squashed when Andy stepped in to tell them that no one cares, which then prompted Dolores to got them to call a truce.  However, the same can’t be said for the neverending Tre and MelGo’Round.

 

In an obviously scripted moment, the start of the reunion is briefly interrupted when Tre's phone rings.  It's Joe Giudice calling from wherever he's currently living.  He asks Teresa to ask Dr. Bill Ayden if he does bags under the eyes.  Instead of getting annoyed with Tre like he's done whenever one of his bitches forgets to turn off their phone, Andy seizes the opportunity to start interviewing Joe.  He asks if he watches and/or misses filming. JJ confessed that he only really watched while he was away, adding that he didn’t like hanging out with the guys who watched the show. Danielle's estranged brother then comes into the conversation when she reveals that RHONJ was/is his favorite show.  Just a hunch on my part, but something tells me that this guy can probably recite all the words to Send in the Clowns ... just saying.  Danielle also reveals that this was the day of her grandfather's wake, and that she will be seeing her brother for the first time (in three years) at the funeral the next day.

 

When Marge’s ex-friend Laura's name is brought up, Teresa chimes in and begins to rehash how the Gorgas got on her show.   But Andy is more interested in discussing how Laura tried to get on the show, basically telling Teresa to stick a sock in it.  He points out that this Laura chick (who's face we finally see) would be have a better chance of getting on the show if she were Margaret's enemy. Tre interrupts again, comparing that situation to how Melissa joined the show.  From the sidelines, Dolores tells Danielle that “This story is so old." By the time the conversation ends, Jacqueline Laurita and Dina and Caroline Manzo receive shout outs as well.  You couldn't help but to notice how non-Namaste' Teresa was becoming. 

 

Incidentally, Teresa makes her entrance onto the "Irish-themed" set sporting a new shorter hairdo (to match her short-tempered  personality).  But to be fair, Melissa certainly came ready to rumble as well.  In a rare offensive move, it is she who wants everyone to know that she is ready to tell her sister-in-law goodbye for good.  Teresa then one-ups her and proclaims that Melissa needs to be fired.  “Definitely, she’s going to be out of my life after tonight, so how are supposed ti co-exist on the same show?" Teresa asks Andy.  God knows we’ve seen these women fight, but this was a new low.

 

In fact, this is a Teresa Guidice that we don't often see.  She usually comes off as being just hopelessly dimwitted and slow, but then she suddenly appears almost cognizant.  Maybe she's on the same meds as the current President.   Melissa holds her own, but you get the feeling that she's fighting a losing game and comes off as being very defeated.  She just kept saying how “sad” she was about the dissolve of her fambly, but I think they're both responsible for it getting to this “sad” point (and that's not even factoring in Tarzan’s part in all this). 

 

Melissa actually seems to know that her TV gig might be coming to end.  Case in point, Teresa screams, “Your whole storyline is me”, and as much as I hate to admit it, Teresa wouldn't be wrong.  Melissa tries to come off as cool and calm, but then she literally says those words herself, prompting Andy to call her bluff by suggesting that this reunion may indeed determine the end for either she or Teresa.

 

Teresa then hauls out the big guns by talking about certain forbidden topics.  She proclaims how it was she put all the work in on the relationship with Joe and Melissa when she got home from camp. She claims that Joe only visited her once, and thaty was only when the cameras were on. Melissa threw it back on Tre, claiming that Joe wasn’t on the visitors’ list; that is until she needed him for filming Tre Checks In.  But Teresa is just getting started.  “I got married on the show ... I had a baby on the show ... I went to jail on the show ... I got divorced on the show”.  In a rather futile attempt to keep up, Melissa does a mock "clap" and says "Yeah going to jail is really something to be proud of".  You couldn't help but to notice  Andy’s eyes as he has obviously heard this at least a million times off camera. 

 

At the very end, Teresa drops a bomb that Jersey's resident Vegas showgirl, Jacqueline Larita, told her that the Gorgas were hanging out with one of Juicy Joe's ex-business partners (in crime) before Joe got pinched ... but HE didn't go to jail.  In short, Jacqueline claimed the business partner outed Tre to the feds.   Not missing a beat, Melissa says, "I though Caroline put you behind bars."  Teresa then provides the perfect cliffhanger for Part 2 as she retorts, “Well I take that back, I think YOU did!" .... ((((*mic drop))).   Holy crapola, this is getting good.