RHONJ Recap: Dildos Down The Shore

 

 

We learn that Teresa got "everything" in the divorce settlement (take that Joey and Melissa!) because she paid off all of Joe's debts and has been the sole provider for the fambly for the last five years (not to mention did a year in the slammer). While cooking dinner, Teresa and their dorters are informing Joe (via Face time) that she is selling the house. Joe plays along, pretending that this is the first time he's hearing about it and gives Teresa his blessing. Speaking of bills, Teresa unabashedly informs us that she and Joe are in the sex toy business, and it's paying the bills (we find out later that this is a key piece of information). A lot can be said about Teresa Giudice, but it's doubtful there will ever be a more open and transparent housewife. She also tells Joe that because Nonno died during the peak of the pandemic and the funeral was limited to just immediate fambly members, that she (and the Gorgas) are throwing him a proper celebration party at the Jersey Shore the following weekend. We then see gut wrenching flashbacks of a physically deteriorating Nonno telling his family that he wants to be with his deceased wife, as Joe Gorga tells him "it's ok".

 

 

Dolores is receiving The Ambassador of Hope Award for her charitable work for breast cancer. She assures us that it would normally be a huge event, but because of the pandemic she is hosting a low key celebration at boyfriend Dr. David's home. The girls are all invited (including Jackie), but Teresa conveniently has a soccer game to attend. David pops in, apologizes for missing the small actual ceremony, and then tells Dolores that he can't stay and has to get back to the hospital. Dolores pretends she's hearing this for the first time and convinces David to stay at least long enough to say hello to the girls. He sticks around long enough for an awkward "hello" to Jen and Melissa, but manages to bolt before everyone else arrives. All the women arrive and it quickly becomes apparent that none of them have ever been to the gorgeous new home that Dolores and Frank has built for David, which I find rather odd. Dolores takes the women on a tour which turns into an inquisition as the ladies question why Dolores isn't living there. Considering the fact that Dolores has an enormous closet filled with her things, it's probably a legitimate question; however, Melissa asking how many times a week she and David have sex was definitely crossing the line. Dolores tells the ladies that she is quite content and actually beginning to enjoy her freedom.

 

 

Everyone, including the men (and even Jackie) are arriving at the Jersey Shore for the aforementioned celebration weekend of Nonno's life. Half of them are staying at Dolores' house and the other at the Gorgas. The women gather in the Gorga kitchen to prepare a sumptuous Italian dinner, but there is tension in the air. Everyone is on edge in anticipation of seeing Teresa and Jackie in the same room for the first time since their big fight, but Jackie is reassuring everyone that she has no plans to fight with Teresa.

 

 

The moment has arrived as Teresa emerges from her assigned bedroom with an arm full of gift bags. Before I describe what happens next, keep in mind that in HER mind, Teresa did "extend an olive branch" to Jackie by inviting her to her pool party, only to have Jackie tell Melissa (and everyone else) that Teresa should shove her invitation up her ass. Continuing on, Teresa hands a gift bag to each of the ladies containing a top-of-the-line dildo vibrator (presumably from the Giudice's aforementioned side business). As Teresa hands Jackie hers, Teresa sarcastically inquires whether said object will fit up Jackie's ass (an obvious reference to Jackie's comment pertaining to Tre's party invitation).  Jackie actually laughs it off and calmly tells Teresa that she's not fighting with her. But of course, Teresa is not done. Later during dinner, Teresa takes another shot at Jackie by blurting out that she heard that Marge's husband Joe also heard the rumor about Evan cheating on Jackie. Pandemonium ensues as Marge angrily asks Joe if it's true, and of course he denies it.  Rest assured, the drama is just heating up as the drama continues next week.