Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: 

"A Simmons by Any  Other Name".

This week's episode continues with D'Andra's meditation soiree featuring guest Sheman/Hairdresser and all around bestie Darrin.  To look the part, D'Andra has provided the women with cute white Tunics and presumably plenty of glasses of courage.  Darrin begins by filling everyone's lungs with smoke "saging" the space and then takes a page from Brandi's therapy playbook (from the Lake Austin floating bar) and assigns D'Andra the task of pairing everyone off.  This of course provides the lady herself with the opportunity for an encore performance of her own.  D'Andra seizes the moment and tearfully reassures Kary that she is sincere about becoming a better friend as the other women struggle to maintain their composure. Now it's Brandi's turn.  Last week ended with a teaser of what appeared to be Brandi having second thoughts about making nice with Tiffany.  It seems that Tiffany was cramping her style and forcing Brandi to walk on egg shells.  Tiffany wasn't appreciating Brandi's head on a stick, or her sex doll, and she didn't even laugh hysterically when Brandi smashed her face up against a window!  But after discussing these infractions with resident shrink Stephanie (and presumably Jesus), Brandi realized that her issues with Tiffany were her own, and not TIffany's at all!  After all, Tiffany can't help it if she was born a humorless Asian (Note:  There will be no shortage of snark on this site).  Tiffany accepts Brandi's second apology, but only after warning her that she will in fact call her out if she ever steps out of line.



Kameron is becoming increasingly frustrated over Court's weird vagueness about what's going on  with the selling of their home.  For whatever reason, Court is hellbent on keeping his wife in the dark on one of the most important decisions of their life.  He claims he doesn't want Kameron to be disappointed if a deal falls through.  Huh?  Sounds fishy to me.  But it turns out that his ditzy wife knows how to pull up Zillow on her phone, and low and behold, she see's that their home is "pending"!  Kameron then informs Court that their agent would not change the status unless there was a contract, which is of course true.  Stay tuned, because I suspect there is more to this story.



Kary still isn't convinced that Tiffany believes she is a nice person, so she decides to throw a birthday party in Tiffany's honor.  Tiffany tells us that no one has ever given her a birthday party; not even her dragon lady of a mother when she was a child, which at this point surprises no one.  She tells Kary that she has always dreamed of a Moroccan-themed party, so Kary gets to work helping production put together a party.  All goes well without a hitch, that is until the they all get trashed and start getting sloppy.  There is the usual falling down, the tired twerking, some girl on girl grinding, and even some reptilian eroticism.  But then things suddenly turn ugly as Brandi informs D'Andra that while she played along, she was actually quite offended by what she deemed as D'Andra's slap in the face to Christianity.  D'Andra thinks Brandi is being quite hypocritical because she has always been able to see ghosts and even consulted with demons mediums herself (roll the receipts!).  This is a fair argument for this viewer and one that will be continued next week.  Brandi looks to Momma Dee (whom D'Andra brought as her plus one) for religeous affirmation, but D'Andra is now full on wasted and the subject now inexplicably turns to why Dee changed their name to Simmons.  Never one to disappoint, Dee informs the group that D'Andra could "go a lot further" with the "Simmons" name (rather than "Calloway").  Of course this doesn't exactly put D'Andra in the best light.  D'Andra then begins screaming expletives at Dee, but Dee isn't having it, so she calls an Uber and exits stage left.

 

For me, this was the best episode of the season by far; from the hilarious kaleidoscope imagery as the ladies transcended into the white light, to the (not overacted for once) drunken antics at Tiffany's party.  RHOD remains one of my favorites in the series (but I still miss LeeAnne).  Well that's my take, but I really want to know what my fellow snarkers think, so sound off below!