Friendship Overboard

 

This episode was mainly all about Tamra and Shannon's fight, but do we really care? Yes, they have a few issues to sort out, but a little bit of Tamra goes a long way. Already, some of those old feelings that have put OC "on probation" with many viewers (and I assume Bravo as well), are starting to creep in. Case in point, last season, Bravo took a huge gamble on "The Return of Heather Dubrow!" which brought disastrous results, and although it's a little early to tell, it looks like history is repeating itself. To make matters worse, whereas at least Heather is an actress, Tammy Sue Judge is no Meryl Streep, but we'll get to that in a minute.

 

Speaking of Fancy Pants, Heather is busily preparing for their eldest twins to leave the nest. By "nest", I don't mean leaving Newport Beach's most expensive McMansion ever built; I'm talking about the nest that has been literally etched into their frosted window inside Chateau Dubrow; along with two eggs symbolizing the frozen embryos that she and Terry had never implanted. Yes, Nick and Max are headed off to college for final liberal indoctrination.

 

Heather summons Max and Nick to some kind of staging space in their home that appears to be set up just for these occasions.  We know she's got a room for luggage, a room dedicated to the art of gift wrapping, and buttons on the wall that produce chilled champs on demand, so it's not that unreasonable to assume she's got a Getting The Kids Prepared For College Room.  Heather has supplied her little darlings with enough crap to set up permanent residence in a NYC cracker box, including furniture, monogrammed sheets, hampers, and microwaves that turn into mini-fridges.  It makes for great TV, but we all know that in reality, all these kids are going to be needing is a sleeping bag, a pound of weed, a couple of fake I.D.s, and a case of condoms ... and maybe a coffee maker. 

 

Heather gets calls from both Tamra and Shannon, who are on their way to meet each other to "sort things out".  Yeah, we're back to that again, but I guess it's better than discussing Gina's quarantine due to testing positive (again) for the Chinese flu. "Quarantine" is a word I never want to hear again; right up there with "hanging chads" or "trans" anything.  Anyway, Tamra is still mad that Shannon “ghosted” her after she was put on pause, and Shannon is mad that Tamra told the world.  Heather offers them both words of encouragement, but doesn’t think they’ll find any resolution.  Duh ... but truthfully, what would be the fun in that?

 

 

So they meet at a typical Newport Beach restaurant on the water.  Tamra arrives first, and you can tell from her walk to the table that this isn't the "sad Tamra" who was at Jenn's yoga "retreat".  After awkward silence, they both clumsily comment about the weather, and how hot it is, which BTW, seems to be a running theme on RHOC.  I've been to CA on countless occasions and at various times of the year, and I don't  recall ever being "hot". One of the things I love about the Golden State is its coolness; in fact, hasn't the term "California weather" become a euphemism for the most perfect weather?  But these ladies love to portray OC like it's the Palm Desert. 

 

But I digress, Tamra orders a glass of champagne, but Shannon just has water, more or less suggesting this isn't a social visit.  Tamra takes her cue and gets right to it, telling Shannon that she was a good friend who was always there, but it was exhausting.  She then brings up that David wanted her to quit drinking, to which Shannon responds "OK Tamra, that's crossing the line".  I was waiting for her to pull a Denise Richards and start screaming "Bravo fucking Bravo".  But instead, she simply orders a Belvedere and soda (apparently Grey Goose finally stopped sending her free product). So in a sense, she was proving Tamra right. Their meeting is brief, ending with the proverbial "Let's move forward and see if we can repair".  So Heather was right; there is no resolution, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the fight is going to come roaring back at the party on Gina’s friend’s boat.  Besides, we saw it in the previews. 

 

 

Gina is AWOL at her own party on her friend's boat due to a positive reading on a stupid rapid Covid test, and has assigned Emily to host the "Flam-ingle" party where everyone has to wear pink.  Instead of Gina, we get Eddie, the hot, albeit heavily tatted bartender who the ladies try to force to take his shirt off.  We also get Taylor Armstrong, hot off of her semi-triumphant Ultimate Girls Trip stint in the Berkshires.  I'm excited about Taylor joining the show, but she gives us nothing on this maiden voyage, and she's really going to have to step up her pussy if she wants to hold an orange. 

 

Anyway, Laurie Petersen lookalike and new girl, Jenn#2, is trying to share with the women the touching story of how she has fostered many children, but fell in love with one particular (adorable) child, and decided to adopt him.  But a totally disinterested (and rude) Shannon repeatedly  interrupts Jenn's story as she questions (out loud) if she knows the people on the neighboring boat.  An already slightly inebreated Tamra doesn't miss a beat, and uses Shannon's deplorable behavior as an example on how self-centered she is.

 

The thing is, Shannon DOES only care about herself, and Shannon DOES drink too much, but I don't know if saying it in front of the (TV) friend group is really the way to "move on".  Half the women split up to different ends of the tiny cruiser that is so small they can still hear each other.  Now completely trashed, Tamra continues to trash Shannon, adding that even her family began telling her, “Please don’t talk to that crazy lady anymore!”.  I guess Tamra just never had the cahoonies to set boundaries by telling Shannon to stop drunk dialing in the wee hours of the night. Sidenote:  Kelly Leventhal remains a victim of Shannon's late night binges, which have only increased since John dumped her.

 

Things escalate as Tamra becomes more and more obnoxious drunk, and by the time dinner is served, she's screaming and telling Shannon that she’s a liar and a drunk. Pot meet kettle. Shannon calmly responds, “I don’t miss this."  Tamra is indeed unhinged.  Like Melissa and Teresa, these two are just completely fed up with ignoring the situation.  Things NEED to be said, and we're along for the ride. But unlike Tre and Mel, there have been good times ... like wearing matching Mexican sombreros, calling each other Amigas, and breaking an ankle when jumping naked into hot tub.

 

Everyone is talking about what a dull episode this was, and the ratings did take a nose dive (from over a 1M to barely 800K), but I didn't hate it.  OC can be God awful, but generally speaking, it has always been easy watching for me.  Also, I don't need much, because like all the Bravo shows set in sunny CA, RHOC is beautifully shot, and I'm good with the beautiful scenery and OC's beachy vibe. The occasional bitchy brawls are just an added bonus.  Word on the mean streets of OC, it's going to be a stellar season.  They can't all be home runs, so I'm in.