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Let Bravo's Damage Control Campaign Begin: Has Ericka Jayne Al ready Been Vindicated?

 

This week’s episode continues exactly where last week’s left off. Erika had just voluntarily walked into the den of lionesses, that is Sutton’s “Paris” themed, luncheon. All the ladies are there; even C*nty Crystal, who feels like she was sexually “violated” by the hostess, but more on that later. They sat around talking about their new cars and this and that, even though all anyone really wanted to talk about was Erika’s divorce.

 

 

Erika’s reception was a little odd, but then again, it has always felt like the women walk on eggshells around her.  After a moment of utter shock like "she actually showed up!", they cheer her like she's just gotten home from war or just emerged from 6 mos. of isolated widowhood. They all pussyfoot around Erika’s divorce until the lady herself cuts through the BS and says “Well let’s talk about the elephant in the room.”. Thank you Kunty!

 

The story that Erika tells is that she knew that her marriage had come to an end and that their relationship was slowly disintegrating. “I left because he pushed me further and further out,” she tells the group, but most of her story is told to the producers via talking heads (with sad violin music for added effect). “The conversations I used to have were reduced down to a sentence or two. I just kept walking around this house knowing this relationship was headed down a really shitty path. I couldn’t live like that anymore.” She describes how he had been cruel in the past, telling one man to “take her if you can afford her,” and that she was finally fed up with it. It seems like the pandemic, and the resulting depression she talked about in previous episodes, really did her in. So she came up with a plan: She dropped Tom off at work, told him she loved him, at which he coldly replied, “Okay, hun”, and that is the last time she talked to him. She then went home and packed everything into a U-Haul, moved into the house she had already rental (which I found odd), and then filed for divorce in the morning. “Once I made my decision, I spent 30 days closing out that part of my life,” she says.

 

I have to be honest; this doesn’t sound like someone who got a divorce just to avoid legal liability, as so many are currently accusing her of. It actually sounds more like Julia Roberts’ escape plan Sleeping With the Enemy.  I really didn’t see that coming, so kudos to Bravo (and the ladies) for keeping a 6 month secret.  As she discloses this, earlier scenes in the season are put into a new context, like Erika clearing out clothes to make room, getting ready for a new life without Tom.

 

Although I can't speak for Jill Biden, it’s difficult to accept an ailing 80+ year old mentally declining man as being physically abusive, and it sure seems clear that Erika is scared of Tom, and even more afraid of what such a powerful man is going do to her now that she’s pursuing a divorce. In her talking heads, she tells producers that Tom’s attitude is going to be, “Fuck her. She’s on her own then. You want to be big time? Fucking go.”.

 

It seems like Erika knows that the other shoe is about to drop ... and we all know Erika knows a thing or two about shoes. She tells the women that she kept everything to herself because she didn’t want them to have any information that might implicate them in any legal proceedings, and the women all nod in agreement (although we know that is about to change). Erika seems to be hinting that more is happening. “There is so much these women don’t know,” she says.

 

 

The next day, to my great surprise and delight, we are then treated to a full tour of Erika’s new digs. I am relieved to see Tiago, but then the real estate agent in me is again taken aback at how misleading pictures can be, but this time, in a good way. Erika apparently got the landlord to so some serious renovating before she moved in, because this 2000+ sq. foot “dollhouse” looks NOTHING like the depressing pics that have been circulating ever since it was revealed where Erika was living. The place is actually quite gorgeous (the ill-fitted terracotta tile floor notwithstanding). She has invited Mikey and her other assistant over to help get the new place in order, and along with Tiago, a sofa, and two chairs, we learn that Erika made it out with the content$ from old closets(s). Mikey has convinced her that the new space will indeed accommodate her haul; namely the few millions bucks worth designer duds, shoes, jewelry, and accessories.

 

 

The next evening, Erika and Rinna continue the conversation over a few hot toddies at a fancy hotel bar. It is clear that at least so far, Rinna is Erika’s head cheerleader as she recalls a few very effective scenes (with flashback footage) of Tom’s questionable temperament and undeniable shitty attitude towards Erika. In one of the scenes (which I had forgotten about), we see Tom basically telling LVP to shut up as HE is speaking, and then a few seconds late, checks Erika’s ass as well. Rinna concludes that Tom was definitely “the one in charge” in their marriage. No arguments here

 

 

Crystal has invited everyone (even the woman who sexually violated her) over to her and hubby Woody’s home for a lesson in the art of making Chinese dumplings. Apparently the producers of RHOBH don’t watch RHOD, because the other token Asian chick, Tiffany Moon, already put us through this. Anyway, before the stupid cooking lesson begins, all the women are gathered on Crystal’s fabulous patio and laughing at Erika, looking like sex in heels (thank you Garcelle), because she is lit and has revealed to the ladies that she lathered her labia in CBD oil, and not the kind you get at Target …. we’re talking full on THC that Kyle and Mauricio hooked her up with.  Apparently the effects of THC is absorbed into the skin the way the old "smoker's patches" did.   BTW, while we’re on the topic, can Kyle please come out as the stoner whom we all know that she is? Yeah yeah, she turned down the space cake in Amsterdam, but now that it’s legal in California, can we please get the cameras on her and Mo banging like high schoolers stoned out of their gourds?

 

 

Kyle and Dorit take a private moment together to make up and everyone jokingly agrees that Dorit is indeed “long-winded”. Sutton is the center of attention again as she and Crystal sit down and talk about how Sutton barged in on Crystal in Lake Tahoe and insinuated that she was having a little pleasurable private time (with herself). Crystal says she’s over it and done talking about it, but Sutton calls her out and says “But you didn’t keep your promise (about NOT talking about it)”. We are then treated to the video receipts of Crystal talking about it nonstop to everyone and their brother. Crystal more or less accepts Sutton’s reprimand again, but basically just to shut her up, and the two return to the group. Then not one minute later, Sutton blurts out to the group, “It’s a little defamatory to say I violated you.” as they roll the evidence of snowflake Crystal telling the other women (namely Dorit) such nonsense. This is clearly a snake move on Sutton's part, and Crystal is caught compleltely off guard. It’s like Sutton lulled Crystal into a false sense of trust and betrayed her. She then brings up that she’s not “manic” or “crazy” as Crystal accused her of being.  In a talking head, Sutton then concludes that Crystal is a "high school mean girl"  BTW, have I mentioned how much I am enjoying Sutton?

 

Although most of the episode was focused on Erika, we also saw Sutton going for a mammogram (at Kyle’s insistence) and also some pointless scene of Garcelle and a “matchmaker”, and again, it’s apparent that RHOBH production doesn’t watch RHONY either, because Ebony, already claimed that shtick as well.