It Takes a Villain

 

Mainly due to an increasingly overall lack of interest in this season thus far, I'm going to make this brief.  Also, I'm going through one of those periods right now when I'm just fowl.  You reach a point in life where you think, "No ... this or that is not acceptable ... and F you!".  Finally becoming infected with the plague is surely is not helping.  I've spent over two years, going to great lengths to dodge the Covid bullet, and now through no fault of my own I'm down for the count because my partner brought Covid into the house.  On a GD nightly basis, it's been like dealing with a 5 yr. old.  I'm like "Did you wash your hands?  Did you avoid crowds, or at least social distance?  Don't touch MY dishwashing sponge.  Don't leave your fcking snot tissues laying around!  So last night as my fever raged, I'm not going to lie; I lost my shit.  Anyway, end of rant and on with the story.

 

We begin with Garcelle, in fact, everything is about Garcelle, and I'm not one of those people who are all up her ass like she's the best thing that ever happened to RHOBH.  She's not even the real deal; Garcelle is basically a broke over the hill D-list blacktress who had to cheapen herself on reality tv to stay relevant.  She's the Shit By Sheree of BH.  Just like Soon-Yi  Crystal, she's there because of her ethnicity, end of story.  I don't exactly dislike her; she has her funny moments, but as usual, a "moment" (equal time) is not good enough, and they aren't going to rest until they change the "look" of Beverly Hills. 

 

Garcelle introduces us to her "friend" Sheree Zampino, whose big claim to fame was marrying the Fresh Prince of Bel Air (25 yrs. ago). Garcelle is quick to tell us that she  dated Smith too, but only after Sheree divorced him.  Garcelle throws a 55th birfday party for herself which for me is always kind of sad.  All her "friends" are there, meaning her agent, publicist, stylists, assistants, current cast mates and even that annoying heifer from The Real Talk, Lonny whoever.  Also on hand is her long lost drug addict son who looks like he's fresh out of prison, complete with neck tatts.  Kunty wants us to believe she has the hots for him, because that gives her street cred.  Who knows, maybe it's the tattooed tear drop streaming down his face.  Garcelle's boys are there as well, whom the ladies take turns telling us how "gorgeous" they are.  I've never considered Kid n' Play as being particularly "gorgeous", but ok.

 

Of course, a party wouldn't be a party without a big fight, so it's obviously Dijana's time to earn her check.  If you recall, last week's episode ended with the ladies boarding Dijana's private jet on their way home from Mexico.  Sutton and Dijana had "a few words" on the trip, so when it came time to board the plane, Dijana got the last punch in by ordering Sutton to sit in her original seat (away from her).   

 

Dijana didn't plan on attending Garcelle's party because she was having (delayed?) complications from her miscarriage 12 weeks prior.  But to everyone's surprise (and Sutton's horror) she shows up.   For a BD gift, she gives Garcelle a copy of her scandulous Room 23 book, coming to a Dollar Tree near you.  Others NOT in attendance were D'jango himself, Jamie Foxx, and Denise Fucking Richards, who was apparently too busy peddling her nude selfies on Only Fans. Kathy Hilton is also MIA, but she did send a birthday cake in the likeness of a turqouis colored Birkin done so well that I thought it was an actual bag. In a talking head, the ungrateful itch has the nerve to tell us that she would have preferred the real thing.

 

We finally get to the typically one and only scene worth tuning in for.  That's my problem with this season; we're getting 30 minutes of pointless drivel, and 12 minutes of ratched "substance", if you want to call it that.  As I mentioned, Dijana is finally earning her check, but if it were up to me, I would garnish her wages. Sutton pulls Dijana to the side and offers her what felt like genuine concern about her miscarriage, but Dijana stops Sutton cold and calls her fake. Sutton is completely confused, but now in her second season, she's a lot wiser to the evil ways of fellow HW psycho bitches.  They trade barbs, but Dijana is relentless and goes in for the kill.  

 

I'm always down for a HW brawl, but the problem with this is it doesn't make any sense.  It's like Soon-Yi Crystal just suddenly calling Sutton a racist.  Dijana's rage seems unwarranted and makes her look like a parched rookie just trying to stir up drama for no good reason.  To be fair, production is probably to blame, as I want to believe that some other (untelevised) crap probably transpired between them.

 

Kyle and Garcelle join in, and Kyle laughingly takes umbrage with Sutton calling Dijana "soulless" (some friend).   Like is that some sort of big deal?  I call a lib "soulless" at least once a day.  Garcelle is taking Sutton's side but quickly tries to shut it down telling Dijana that she's not going to let her ruin her party.  The faux outrage of it all!  At one point, Dijana then weirdly asks Sutton (or maybe it was  Garcelle) if she wants to be "headbutted".  Huh?  Maybe it's a Bosnian thing.  Then she finally mutters the sentence that the previews have been playing since early Spring, "Do you need a new villain?  Well here I am". 

 

Yeah here we are, and I'm bored.  Not to belabor the issue, but RHOBH is just "off" this year.  This "new" Kunty is annoying as F, and I won't be surprised if this is her last season, and the same goes for Dorit.  This is one of those seasons where Kyle and Rinna are phoning it in, and Crystal remains useless.  Her desparation is so obvious, becasue now her husband Woody is trying to get into the act.  Sutton is bringing it, but a little of Sutton goes a long way.  That only leaves our Bosnian Boss Bitch, but if this week's episode is any indication, she's a one an done if there ever was one. 

 

Hey I just noticed, my fever has broken, but I'm being warned that it's probably going to be coming back for at least another week.  So much for 4th of July which has been pretty much canceled around here for some reason.   Maybe it's that umteenth wave of Covid that Dementia Alzheimer's Joe has been warning us about.