There's Sutton About Crystal

 

 

First of all, like everyone else, I never watch anything live; not only because of the crazy hours that we keep, but also because I cannot bear the absurd pandering in television commercials these days.  In short, everything we watch is recorded.  So it's now well after midnight.  We have had dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, finished our nightly 3 mile walk, settled in and gotten all cozy, clicked on the fireplace, and turned on my  favorite (mindless) indulgence, that is the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  But something is wrong and the episode appears to already be in progress.  I hit rewind only to discover that the episode IS at the beginning.  So now what?  Do I keep watching now, or wait for the episode to become available online or on my phone's Apple TV?  I decide to just forge ahead and then catch the beginning tomorrow.

 

The women are in Laquinta (Palm Springs) for the opening of Kyle's new store, Kyle and Shihida.  Kyle tells us that because online shopping has put her other boutiques out of business, this new location in the desert will be her only "brick and mortar" (physical) store.  The location and space itself is very chic' and appropriately showcases Kyle's billowy loungewear (a.k.a. Kyle's moomoos) which I'm guessing would sell very well in the desert.

 

All of the ladies are present and accounted for. The new Fox Force Five; Dorit, Erika, Lisa, and Garcelle (sans the hazmat suit), along with Bambi and River will be staying at Kyle's desert oasis, while Crystal, Sutton, and Diana rough it at the local Laquinta Resort and Spa.  Dorit arrived late because she had a "rough morning", meaning a panic attack stemming from her alleged home invasion.  Pea Kye tells Kyle that he gave her a half a Xanax, but it didn't help, but l'm sure Mauricio can hook her up with some good weed, and if that doesn't work, Rinna can always reach into her ziplock bag of candy.

 

 

Once the ladies are all settled in, Kyle heads to her store to check the progress for the boutique's opening. Predictably, nothing is going well and Kyle is frazzled.  I'm immediately struck by the staff's aloof attitude toward her, especially her partner (Shahida) who almost seems to be annoyed that Kyle is even there.  I'm wondering if Shahida is annoyed that Kyle only refers to the store as "hers", or let alone the fact that the name "Shahida" has never left Kyle's lips (at least not on the show). But soon the other ladies arrive and the store launch goes off without a hitch.  However, things could easily have gone differently when Sutton approaches Dorit and offers a seemingly sincere apology for trivializing her alleged break-in.  But they hug it out and all is well ... at least for now.

 

Back at Kyle's, just as they sit down to enjoy her catered casual buffet, Garcelle decides it's a good time to talk about the "situation" with Sutton, since the villainess herself (excuse the gender pronoun) is now present. Before the trip, the women gathered at Crystal's home for dinner, where Kyle filled the entire group in on Sutton's total lack of empathy for Dorit's alleged home invasion (I missed this scene due to my programming difficulties).  But to Garcelle's credit, she shut it down, proclaiming that she didn't think it was right to discuss this without Sutton being there to defend herself.  But now Sutton is present, so they decide to proceed with "the conversation".

 

Kyle is completely unapologetic and is owning the fact that she is just downright pissed off at Sutton for making such callous comments about Dorit. Again, Sutton tries to create a piss poor analogy and resorts back to the time when as a child, her home was robbed, and then when she was 14, her father put a gun in his mouth.  She wants everyone to believe that incidents account for her cunty behavior 40 years later.  Diana then chimes in and scolds Sutton for her clumsy demeanor and  tongue.  Of course Diana is right, but she's known these women for two minutes, and who appointed her as the presiding judge?   Sutton then insults Kyle's (and the viewer's) intelligence by insisting that she WAS empathetic while Kyle insists that she wasn't. 

 

 

Somehow this back and forth somehow triggers Sutton's new fake friend, Crystal, who tells us in a talking head that "Telling someone how THEY feel is inappropriate, and the ultimate in gaslighting".  As she begins to cry, psychotherapist Garcelle urges Crystal to get it all out.  Holding back tears, Crystal reminds the group of last season when Sutton violated? her.  You will remember that Sutton entered Crystal's room (apparently without knocking) and caught her naked.  Crystal tells the group, "Every single one of you went on a campaign to police MY feelings!", and she feels that now the group is noq doing the same thing to Sutton. 

 

But Kyle ain't having it, and tells Crystal that her analogy is ridiculous, and then in a talking head, basically calls her a millenial snowflake.  As a viewer, I'm always amazed at these idiot liberals' total lack of self-awareness; however, it is always fun watching them eat their own.  Dr. Garcelle intervenes, more or less agreeing with Crystal, but Kyle screams that she's NOT apologizing for anything!  Not to be upstaged in HER big scene, Crystal then says “You guys will never validate someone’s feelings unless you can understand it. That’s the truth. I’ve expressed so much about my history and my pain to tell you guys how I feel and you guys don’t listen and you don’t care. And it’s fine. I don’t need that honestly!”.  Her soliloquy continues, “This is not OK for me. It’s not a good place for me. I really don’t want to be here, honestly. I never thought this was going to happen tonight, never. It’s too dramatic and I don’t like it ... I really can’t be here.”.

 

In the midst of all this, Sutton is still proclaiming what a good person she is, and then Erika chimes in and addresses Sutton. "Do you actually feal good about the way you treated ME last year?".  Sutton responds, "Yes I do, do YOU?".  Erika then notes that the common denominator in all these fights (with Crystal, Dorit, and herself) is Sutton. 

 

In one last attempt to get Crystal to stay, Kyle says to Crystal, "Your feelings are not NOT validated!", but drama queen Crystal is just too broken, so she gathers Sutton and Diana, and leaves.  In the car ride back to their hotel, Crystal tells Sutton and Diana,  “I had an eating disorder and then it’s like it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how Crystal feels. I never look for people to validate me!".  “I don’t care in general but to have a gang of people you can’t feel that way is very intense. I’m in my feelings.”.

 

So in reference to the title of this episode, yeah, "There is Sutton About Crystal" alright ... she's an annoying snowflake whom I would love to see the coven eventually turn on and boot from the show!