‹ Back

Not My Sister's Keeper

 

 

 

I could literally sum up this finale in just three or four sentences, but as we all know, I couldn't tell you what I had for dinner last night in under ten ... but I'll give it a try.  Garcelle throws a Birkin (bag) party where Kyle brings up Kathy's tantrum, but then gets annoyed that Lisa Rinna keeps talking about Kathy.  Kyle then throws a party where they continue to discuss Kathy, who is still awol.  Finally at her wit's end, Kyle accuses "someone" in the group of leaking the story about her sister's breakdown to the press; that is if you want to call R/B, AATT, and a few random sissy bitch podcasts "the press".  That was the finale, and if you want to stop reading here, I will completely understand. 

 

                     ________________________________________________________

 

 

 

On with the long version.  Garcelle is throwing a "Birkin and Bubbles" party, although I'm not sure if having your four assistants and a few cast mates over to your house to look at Birkin bags qualifies as a "party".  Birkin dealer, Christos, is on hand to unload some of his used bags (which explains the crappy looking flea market price tags hanging on the purses).  No shade, because apparently even the filthy rich often buy these overpriced novelties used, and no one is the wiser.  Only half the cast shows up; Kyle, Sutton, Lisa, and Crystal.  Oh I almost forgot; Sheree is there too ... Garcelle serves some chicken & waffles just for her.  Kathy couldn’t make it, so she sends her old gay butler. Patrick, to lend class to a party she doesn't even attend. 

 

As mentioned, the entire episode is about Kathy Hilton, but she doesn't appear in the finale at all, not even in a confessional.  I have a feeling, she's gone for good, although we do know she appears at the reunion.   Sidenote:  Andy Cohen made a random comment on this radio show last week that he's been very busy "trying to get a housewife back on the show".  At the time I assumed he was talking about Kim Richards, but now I'm wondering if he wasn't talking about Kathy. 

 

 

Patrick and Sutton's gay, Josh, announce that there is no love connection because Patrick prefers to "live like a butterfly, going from flower to flower" ... but the truth is, two bottoms doesn't a gay partnership make.  Too bad, because what fun it would have been ... Mo' and Pee Kai could have planned the bachelor party, Kunty's gay, Mikey, could have dressed the groom and groom, LVP could have officiated, and Kevin Lee would have planned the event running around saying "Shi shi shi!".

 

Once again, Lisa expresses how "shook" she still is after witnessing Kathy's meltdown.  Kyle asks her to drop it, but she only doubles down on making Kathy out to be devil.  Kyle starts to get that cracking "Kyle voice" (when she gets upset) and walks away for a break, but Lisa follows her to talk about it some more.  You want to be annoyed with Rinna, but Kyle is more than a willing participant in this effort to "take down Kathy Hilton". 

 

 

Meanwhile. Kyle can't stop talking about Kathy, and fills Garcelle in on the showdown between Kathy and Lisa.  Garcelle warns Kyle about letting Lisa come in between she and her sister.  The party goes off without a hitch, with the hostess herself finally owning a Birkin.  They play it as though she was talked into "investing" in a Birkin that she can't afford, but we all know that her "longtime friend", Christos undoubtedly gifted her with a freebie for promoting his used bag business on the show.

 

 

Kyle is hosting a charity event for the Princess Grace (Kelly) Foundation in her back yard.  Long time party planner, Glen, is nowhere to be seen, and in his place is someone named Nicole, who is on crutches.  Did this chick injured herself while murdering Glen, so she could be Kyle's new party planner for Kyle's White non-ethnicity specific parties?  Kyle has called upon Gismondi jewelers to lend several million dollars worth of jewelry for the event. 

 

Before Erika and Rinna conveniently arrive last, Kyle is telling everyone about how upset she is about Kathy's tyrade being leaked to the press.  Garcelle is right, if Kyle’s friends won’t drop this, then they just don’t care about Kyle or her family, adding that she thinks thinks Rinna and Erika are using this to take the heat off Erika.  Uh maybe, but that sounds pretty weak to me. 

 

 

After dinner, the ladies all gather on the white couches that have been placed on the wet February lawn.  The women are all freezing; particularly Diana, who jokingly? reprimands Kyle for having an event outside in freaking February!  I would say I can't blame her, but she could have brought a mink stole or something, which would have actually went really well with her Jessica Rabbit getup.  Pot stirrer in training, Garcelle, gets the ball rolling and asks Rinna point blank, exactly what did Kathy say to her that requires an apology.  Lisa says that Kathy doesn’t owe her anything, and in return asks Garcelle why she's so bothered?  Garcelle then tells Lisa that she really needs to let it go.

 

Cue Rinna's inner soap actress.  First, she says that if she sweeps Kathy’s deplorable behavior under the rug like everyone wants her to do, it will fester, and she will get cancer.  Really Rinna?  She acts like Kathy hired a team of illegals to spray Harry Hamlin's vegetable garden with insecticides while they slept at night.  Garcelle rolls her eyes.  Rinna says that by not telling everyone about the specifics of what Kathy allegedly said, she's actually protecting Kathy and Kyle.  Of course the truth is, Lisa is simply gaslighting the crap out of Kathy, knowing damn well that people are going to assume the worst.  Kathy's biggest mistake was participating in the conversation at all, let alone the apology. 

 

 

Erika chimes in, readily admitting that she wants to see Kathy getting pummeled. Kunty thinks that if she has had to take the heat for something she didn’t even do, then why shouldn't Kathy have to take some heat for something that she actually did?  Kyle gets upset and then storm off as Dorit chases after her yelling "Kye Kye Kye!".  Diana calls it a night and everyone follows suit.  But with 15 minutes still remaining in the episode, we know that the conversation is far from over.  Also, Kyle is holding onto her ace.

 

As the women all say their goodbyes and thank their hostess (inside the warm house), the conversation continues.  Kyle says she knows that the leaks in the press were coming from "someone in the group".   All I'm thinking is thank God this revelation occurs during the finale, and we're spared a season long "Puppy Gate" situation involving Radar Online.  Sutton earns her diamond by asking Lisa and Erika to their faces if they’re the ones leaking the story.  Erika responds, "I wouldn't know how to do that".   Really Kunty?  I mean let's be real; most of the rags literally have “Have a tip?” buttons on their websites.  At this point, Kunty adds that she is more newsworthy and famous than Kathy.  Kyle let the comment slide go at the time, but then in a confessional poses the question, "Hmmm ... the name Girardi is more well known than the name Hilton?".

 

 

Kyle says she has it from a “very good source” that it was Erika’s publicist who leaked the information about Kathy to the press. She brings up Erika's Pretty Hair launch, claiming that the press was getting virtual play by play text messages of the group talking about Kathy. Production does their best to indict Kunty's publicist, Jack, by showing him (in flashback) listening as Rinna and Dorit gossiped about Kathy’s meltdown.  Then they give us audio of Erika’s team, Mikey and  Laia, commenting about how "it's going down over there".  It does look bad, but then Erika offers a tidbit of her own, reminding Kyle that she and Nicky Hilton share the same publicist.  So obviously, it doesn’t make sense to leak information about her mother, Kathy.

 

At this point, we really don't know what happened, and it is likely that we never will.  I can easily see this story becoming one of those mysteries that are never solved; like what exactly was Kim talking about in Amsterdam when she told Lisa "Let's not talk about Harry, and what you don't want to talk about", or will Brandi every provide proof that she slept on Denise Fucking Richards' clit?  Did Yolanda and her kids really have Lymes Disease?  Did Vicki Gunvalson really know about Brooks faking cancer?  Did Melissa and Joe really join RHOJ behind Teresa's back?

 

However, we DO know that Kathy publicly posted on Instagram, begging for Rick to come and get her. We DO know that many of the thirstier cast members have some of the rags on speed dial.  We DO know that Deux Moi and Bravo and Cocktails follow these women wherever they go. What we really needed was Kathy in this episode, but apparently, she got away with threatening the cast and the show with legal action, so much so, that we aren't even getting a reunion trailer.  I'm very astute about these things, and I think aggravated look on Andy Cohen's face (on the WWHL that immediately followed the finale) about said it all ...  there will be hell to pay.  I have a hunch Kathy is dunzo.  Congratulations Rinna.