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We Need To Talk About Kathy

 

 

I didn't think I would be covering this one, because due to a sudden thunderstorm last night, the crappy Direct TV satellite was down during both broadcasts. But then due to a change in my schedule, I was able to catch the episode on Bravo's website this morning, so here I am.

 

The women are leaving Aspen, well everyone except for Kathy who has locked herself in Kyle's basement bedroom. Lisa tells us that Kathy threw a nasty tantrum at the Carabou Club the night before, then another in the sprinter van, and then really went apeshit once they got home to Kyle's. Then on the plane ride home, the the conversation continues when Garcelle asks, "Where's Kathy?". Crystal tries to trivialize Kathy's actions by saying that although she did see some kind of commotion going with Kathy,  it wasn't that big of a deal. Diana chimes in, saying she went to the bathroom, and when she came back, Kathy was shouting at all the girls, mostly Kyle. Sutton tells us that it all started because Kathy got upset at the club because no one wanted to do a Conga line with her. Kyle tells us that Kathy demanded they leave, but Kyle refused.

 

Then in a talking head, Lisa elaborates a little more, accusing Kathy of going into a violent rage.  Lisa says, "Kathy Hilton pounded on the walls of Kyle's bedroom and then stomped on her own glasses while screaming that she was going to take down Bravo and NBC, and destroy Kyle and her family if it's the last thing she ever does!".  At this point, we are to assume that there is no footage of this, which makes no sense. I mean are we really supposed to believe that production didn't record any of these tyrades, and Rinna didn't whip out her phone and start recording Kathy stomping on her glasses? Something here stinks. But regardless, what I wouldn't give to see Kyle in her jammies, weeping and sweeping up Kathy's shattered specs.

 

Still on the plane, Rinna says to Kyle, “At some point, we really need to talk about how I can rid myself of what happened last night.”. Really Rinna ... rid yourself? Methinks that Rinna is going to be stuck with this problem right along with the stockpile of polyester dusters that she can't sell on QVC. Throughout all of this, we don’t get any details from the lady herself; all we know is that Kathy scoured social media looking for Rick, who eventually showed up. Apparently they then spent a few days in some Aspen hotel. As usual, the problem with this story line is that we've heard about it for months. We heard that Kathy allegedly called some presumably black swishy worker at Carabou the F and N words, and then sent out cease-and-desist letters preventing Rinna from talking about it. But is there more? Because right now it’s like one big fat nothing burger.

 

I have a feeling Kathy was successful in putting the kabosh on all of it, and I would not be surprised if Kyle helped, because no matter how deep rooted the issues between these sisters may be, no way would Kyle want this side of Kathy shown on national television; especially for the sake of "business" and their respective kids. 

 

On the plane ride home, Erika apologizes to Sutton which makes her cry (and wonder if the plane isn't going down). The apology was also directed at Garcelle and Crystal for yelling at them in Aspen. Kunty explains to them that she tends to become incensed when she feels like she's not being heard. You may not agree with what she’s saying, but at least she’s behaving a bit more like a human and taking accountability for her behavior.

 

 

Crystal is throwing a 39th birthday party for herself, which I always find just as pathetic on these shows as I do in real life. To make matters worse, it will be one of those "Great Gatsby" (roaring twenties) themed parties. Hopefully this infraction officially lands her on Real Housewife Death Row, because these Great Gatsby parties on the HW's is as tired and overplayed as the Party City wigs on every fucking Below Deck franchise in the series. At the party, Erika has a little chat with Garcelle about not getting a heads-up about Garcelle talking shit about her on the The Real Canceled. Garcelle apologizes for hurting her, but then in a talking head, defends herself by saying "she was only doing her job". Sure Garzy, like you couldn't laugh it off with the other hags on that show by saying something like, "Sorry ladies, but I'm staying out of this one!".

 

Thoughout this episode, Kunty continues her damage control campaign and confesses to Sutton that she recently drove to the dilapidated mausoluem in Pasadena that she shared with Tom for more than 20 years, and just sat out front in her car, looking at the life she used to have.  I couldn't help but to feel bad for her. 

 

Meanwhile at the party, looking like Madonna doing Marlene Dietrich, Lisa Rinna is a jittery mess, telling us that she's actually experiencing "PTSD" from witnessing Kathy's horrific breakdown. Oh Lisa, as if you haven't experienced similar behaviors countless times before with one (or both) of those bratty daughters you raised. Eventually, Lisa is so distraught that she can't even be in the same room with the evil Republican monster, and decides to leave. At the door, hostess and fellow drama queen Crystal asks Lisa, "Was it really that bad?", to which Lisa responds "Yes", and then in yet another talking head, Lisa expands on her accusations, telling us that Kathy actually threatened to take ALL of the women on the show down, adding that she can't even repeat what Kathy said. 

 

 

Lisa then gives her own assessment of Kathy's mindset by informing us that "Kathy is and always has been jealous of Kyle, who is more successful and famous than Kathy will ever be". What's more, she's still got a bee in her bonnett over Mauricio leaving husband, Rick Hilton's co. and branching out on his own. She's also very resentful about Kyle's ill-fated American Woman, which Kathy still believes trashes the memory of her mother, "Big Kathy". I have to say, I really didn't see that coming. Lisa then concludes with an almost eerie vow; that is to expose the "real Kathy Hilton" to the world. All in all, Crystal's party was just really off, and seemed like an awful lot of effort for just a handful of friends and her cast mates, who didn't even bring their husbands. Kyle didn’t attend because she’s off getting her nose broken again in Halloween (supposedly) Ends. I think it was just really an opportunity for Crystal to show off her new basement. BTW, I didn't know they even had basements in CA.

 

At the end of the party, Erika tells Diana and Dorit that she too plans on exposing Kathy, because like why should only her bad behavior be shown? I guess she has a point. So what really happened? We know that Kathy obviously threw some kind of tantrum because everyone witnessed it. But was it any worse than just getting drunk and shit-talking her sister and cast mates? Lest we forget that RHOBH was founded on the Richards sisters fighting, stealing Goddamn houses, and exposing alcohol and glue-sniffing addictions ... so is Kathy’s alleged rage really so awful?

 

I'm really torn, because on one hand, I feel like I need to be loyal towards a fellow Republican, but the problem here is that I really don't like Kathy Hilton. Not only has her behavior on the show been bad (storming out of Kemo Sabe because Lisa chose Kennell Jenner's tequila over hers), but her confusing that fat tub of lard, Lizzo, with the aesthetically challenged Gabourey Sidibe (on WWHL) did her no favors either. But on the other hand, I believe Rinna (and Kunty and probably even Kyle's) loony left wing politics are at the root of their disgust for Kathy.

 

I thought it was very telling when Erika said in a talking head, “This game turns on everyone, and now it's Kathy's turn", or something to that effect. So is that what's going on here? All the other women have to deal with all the indignity of the show, and having their personal lives conjectured about, but Kathy gets to just show up looking like a bag lady (reportedly with a huge raise), and gets to enjoy "fan-favorite status" without even breaking a sweat. But regardless, I think we're going to have to wait for the reunion for any kind of resolve.