The Girl with the Diamond Earrings

 

 

 

 

It's day 2 in Aspen, CO.  Kathy, Lisa, Erika, and Dorit are staying at Kyle's charming chalet (along with Mauricio and Storm), and the other women are staying at a fabulous nearby rental, except for Diana who decided to get her own set of rooms at a hotel for herself and her entourage.  It's the morning after, and over coffee, Kyle and Lisa discuss the events that occurred the night before.  Just so we're all up to par, Sutton decided to revisit ancient history by bringing up the fact that no one seemed to care that Erika called her the c-word at the reunion (obviously many months before).  But it backfired on her when Diana said "But you are one", (meaning a c*nt). Sutton maintained her composure at the time, but then in flashback, we see Sutton sobbing uncontrollably. 

 

 

It's the crack of noon, and Kyle goes downstairs to wake Kathy from her slumber in Kyle's basement bedroom of bunk beds. Incidentally, Dorit was sharing the room with Kathy, but unbeknownst to Kathy and the hostess herself, somewhere in the middle of the night, Dorit hightailed it out of Dodge and went to stay with Diana, who had an extra room at the hotel (like a leftover bagel on a plate).  Dorit tells Kyle that she "felt safer" there.   Safer than a private home with a man present (meaning Mo'), a dog, three other women, and a production team sleeping on cots?  Sure Dorit.  BTW, speaking of Dorit, we still haven't talked about how PK suddenly paid off a 5 yr. old $2M debt that he was being sued for, or the fact that there was no mention of any guns being used (let alone held to Dorit's head) in the L.A. Police report which surfaced not long after the alleged break in.  Anyway, on with the story. 

 

 

Kyle, Mauricio, Soon-Yi, Diana, Dorit (and her $15K worth of Fendi ski wear) all go skiing, while "non-friends" Erika, Garcell, Sutton, and Silent Sheree opt for a day of snow mobiling, which of course makes no sense whatsoever. No, I'm not talking about two black chicks snow mobiling in single digit temperatures in Aspen, Colorado.  Why would Erika want to spend the day with Garcell and Sutton (or they with her), especially after Sutton cried herself to sleep the night before?

 

 

Regardless, a fun day is had by all, but danger lurks as Crystal and Garcell obsess about Erika's refusal to hand over her $750K earrings to her soon-to-be-ex-husband's alleged victims. Making matters worse, Garcell was forced (apparently at gunpoint) to talk about the controversy on her stupid (now real canceled) talk show.  But luckily that won't air until after the trip.  Also, everyone is worried about how Sutton and Diana are going to get along after their big fight the night before. 

 

Everyone piles into their respective sprinter vans and heads to one of Aspen's yummiest restaurants, Campo de' Fiori, a place I've actually been. Let me clarify ... we made it as far as looking at the menu posted outside. Needless to say, it was way above our budget, and we went elsewhere. But if memory serves, we still ended up dropping a hundred bucks on dinner because NOTHING is cheap in Aspen.  The only reason we were even there was because of a generous airline employee discount at some lodge.

 

Speaking of being out of one's element, let's talk about the way some of these ladies are dressed.   First of all, no one wears (stiletto) heels in Aspen, especially in January when ice is everywhere.  Aspen is where you go to show off your cute $2000 boots; just ask the women of Salt Lake City.  But here we have Sutton wabbling along in her Lubies just begging to break another foot, and Erika dressed like Jane Mansfield at the end of her career in a sparkly number and white fox stole. Meanwhile we have Kathy looking like a homeless woman, and proudly displaying a grocery store tote bag doubling as a purse.  Already annoyed at Kathy for traipsing through the airport in fuzzy house slippers, Kyle vows to let Paris and Nicky know that their mother is embarrassing the shit out of their family.  To be honest, I can't say I blame her.

           

            

 

At the dinner table while making small talk (with Garcelle of all people), Erika starts going on about the expensive clutch she's wearing.  To be fair, Garcell realizes that this is the only (privileged) life that Erika has known and become accustomed to, but then the sometimes tactless Garcell comes out, and she asks Erika about a Reality Blurb headline on her phone pertaining to a missing $750,000 pair of diamond earrings.   BTW, when did Reality Blurb become the go-to news outlet for all things housewives?  Apparently Andy isn't aware that R/B routinely rips the housewives (and him) to shreds.  But then again, I guess AC's total lack of self-awareness shouldn't suprise us.  Erika tells Garcelle that "if" the judge tells her to give the earrings back, than she will ... but not before (incidentally, the earrings are actually worth $1.3M). How any judge has the authority to order such a thing when the woman hasn't even been charged, let alone found guilty of anything is beyond me.   When Garcelle questons Erika about why she doesn’t just give the earrings up out of the kindness of her heart, Erika snaps,  “Because I’m not guilty ... and  how dare you say that shit about me”.

 

After dinner, they all return to the (much roomier) rental where they can slip into their jammies and unwind.  Garcell calls Erika over to her group and actually compliments her for being so "open" at dinner, but of course she's only buttering her up for whats to come. The topic of the earrings comes up again, and everyone is being surprisingly civil.  Just speaking very matter of factly, Crystal and Garcelle say that they would give the earrings back, especially due to the "fact?" that they were purchased with stolen money.  But then Erika interjects; "But were they?", which now peeks the interest of everyone in the room, especially Kyle.  Erika reminds everyone that this entire ordeal is still in the early stages of investigation and basically compares giving up (donating) property to "tampering with evidence".

 

Erika then goes into a well rehearsed lesson in law and how justice has to be served, while adding that the court isn’t going to let her get away with anything. She emphasizes that will do whatever the judge tells her. But she also refers to people as “alleged victims” and says they don’t know if they are victims for sure yet because the legal action isn’t done. Technically she's right, but these women know they are being filmed, and none of them are going to miss an opportunity to look like the "compassionate" one.  In fact, as we recently found out, Diana put her money where Garcelle and Crystal's mouths are and wrote a check for $100K ... although to exactly who I don't know.  As far as these victims go,  all I see is a bunch of fame whores and sleazy lawyers making the rounds on podcasts. 

 

This is a difficult debate, because both sides have good points, although in my humble opinion, one side is operating on pure emotion which just doesn't always hold up in court.  The truth is we don’t know what money bought those earrings, let alone when.   We don’t even know yet (in a definitive legal way) if Tom stole the money, although it sure looks like he did. We can at least acknowledge that bad things happened, people are hurt, and some people have never gotten the money they were awarded.  But regardless, fans want to see some compassion from Erika.  BTW, Erika says that she has had the earrings for (more than) 15 years, and it has not even been determined yet if and when Tom's crime spree began.

 

Erika goes on to make several (what I think) are very valid points.  Who would she even give the earrings to? Should she pawn them?  Should she really just write a check to the families of the Lion Air crash or the pipeline explosion victims?  What if the judge tells her that the money should have gone elsewhere?  This shit is complicated with way more going on here than any of us know, so it's really kind of silly for any of us armchair lawyers to be playing judge, jury, and executioner.  

This could take years before everything is sorted out and all of Tom’s money has been tracked, but people will eventually get what is due to them.  Unfortunately, this is playing out on reality TV, and not even Andy Cohen gets to speed it up.

 

     

 

Still, Kyle tries to executive produce and pleads with Erika to show a little compassion, but Kunty finally snaps,  “I don’t give a fuck about anyone else but me!".  Pals Rinna and Dorit decide it's time for them to step in and attempt to put a muzzle on Erika.  They know they need to remove her from this situation before she says too much.  Once again, Crystal has become Erika's punching bag and even Kyle, one of Kunty's most loyal supporters, says that she can’t defend her when she says these things.   Kyle tries to get her to talk about how she feels like a victim too, but she refuses and only says, “I’ve been a wife who is left in ruins!”. But through it all, I suspect that this was finally the wake-up call that Erika needed, and no matter how you feel about Kunty and her legal problems, the scene was electric and easily the most honest discussion yet about what is going on with her. 

 

 

Lisa and Dorit are finally able to escort Erika out of the house, but any sympathy one might have for Erika is lost when off-camera, she screams from the driveway, “What about the facts, you dumb cunt (or bitch or something to that effect)!", undoubtedly scaring off the bears gorging themselves on the garbage of the rich.  It's not clear whether she's talking to Crystal or Kyle, but for Erika's sake, I hope it was Crystal.  The car door closes, and her buddies all huddle around her, but nothing has been resolved.  Like our President, Tom is being ravaged by Alzheimer's, people are still unpaid, the cast is turning against her, and the fans hate her.