Kyle in hosting is a charity luncheon at Kyle’s house. Right off the bat, it seems like a bust because Lisa, Erika, and Garcelle aren't coming because they are stuck in quarantine. My first impulse is to trash the show for continuing to promote the plannedemic, but as the steady flow of sarcastic comments (trivializing the Chinese Flu) indicate, the cast themselves are over really over the nonsense. In place of Rinna, Kunty, and Garcelle, we get Kyle's Halloween costar, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Will Smith's exwife. Being one was one of those rare occasions where he actually watched an episode with me (I was playing the sympathy card after having a major molar extracted yesterday), my pop culture challenged partner says to me, "Where do we know her from?". I explain that she's the daughter of Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, "Lee ... Curtis ... get it?", which of course he doesn't. I then say, "The lady who got butchered in the shower in Psycho and the cuter one who dressed up like a women in Some Like it Hot with Marilyn Monroe?". His response, "Um ... ". But then thankfully, they flash a picture of Laurie Strode and little Lindsey Wallace on the screen, and he's like "Oh yeah ... the lady in True Lies!". Ding ding ding, give the man a banana! This is what I'm dealing with people.
So where were we? Oh yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis is appearing on Kyle's reality show to sell some crap, in the name of charity. She has candles, and thermoses, and wind chimes, and dog leashes; any of which can be found at Home Goods, and far better quality. It was a really weird scene, and to be quite honest, just kind of embarrassing, especially when you could sense JLC's embarrassment. To make matter worse, the always disingenuous Dorit is oohing and aahing over all of her crap like she's never seen a bedazzled dog leash before. Thankfully, the scene ends, and Jamie makes an early exit.
After lunch, the ladies split into the proverbial two groups, basically giving Diana and Sutton the opportunites to tell their versions of their disastrous lunch. Shit Talker By Sheree reminds us she's blackish and axes Sutton, "Girl, why you always in so much trouble?". Sutton says it’s because she says what she thinks. “How is that working out for you?” Sheree asks. Sutton responds, "Not that great". Dr. Sheree tells her, “Maybe it’s time to rethink.” Yes, Sheree thank you. I really don't know what the real housewives series would do without the infinite wisdom of black queens like Garcelle, Phaedra, Eboni, and now this Sheree person. True, Sutton has had beef with just about everyone in the group, but doesn't that apply to just about everyone? Could it be that Diana is right, and "Sutton ease just clumsy weeth her wordz"? Maybe, but it IS confusing when someone shows up to a party after RSVP'ing their regrets because the doctor ordered them to stay home. Does asking for clarification make you a fake bitch? Was Sutton's delivery kind of snarky? Yes, but enought to come after her like this? No.
Meanwhile, Diana is in the other room talking about how she's just disgusted by Sutton. The two groups eventually join each other and Diana finally explains a little more about her miscarriage, which helps put things into perspective, but does little to resolve the situation. Sutton announces that she's done apologizing, but tells Diana that she will be there to listen whenever she's ready.
Also at the luncheon, Crystal's alleged eating disorder is discussed. Kyle tells Crystal that she saw her post on SM about how she’s been struggling with it recently. Kyle's question is, “So are you puking or starving, or starving and then puking? Tell me everything!”. I have a question too. It's seems awefully weird to me that someone with an aversion to pasta would be promoting the art of making and then stuffing Chinese dumplings down her throat like a starved Sumo wrestler at a Panda Express. Admittedly, I have never understood this eating disorder thing. You will recall that Kyle has her own history of eating disorders, which makes her line of questioning to Crystal all the more odd. Diana's reaction is just as strange when out of her saliva-soaked lips, she says to Crystal, “... and I know how much you love food too.”. Did she really just tell a Bulimic chick that she's fat, right to her face? Talk about "clumsy words". However, neither Kyle or Diana have anything on Kunty when she too takes a turn at smacking Crystal with a two-by-four. But more on that in a moment.
Diana is hosting a fabulous Christmas party. Yes, nothing represents an old fashioned Christmas like a cocktail party at a sterile corporate-looking home packed with rented holiday decorations. Having survived the corona, Erika, Lisa, and Garcelle are on hand, but now Dorit has tested positive, so she has to sit this one out. Although Kathy Hilton finally showed up in a (totally cringy) earlier scene with Kyle, she makes her triumphant return to the group. It takes Diana all of three seconds to tell us that she only knows Kathy as her friend, "Paris Hilton's, mom". Ouch. I have to say, Diana is kind of growing on me.
Apparently Crystal, who came dressed as a sequined Grinch, didn't suffer enough abuse by Kyle and Diana, so she tells Erika that the holidays "trigger" her because there is lots of food, and she’s going out every night, and there’s more food to eat, and I'm thinking, um, yeah ... that's one of the best parts of the holidays. Then in that irritatingly droll Kunty voice, Erika says, “I would just take a laxative and get rid of it all.”. Erika mentions it again, this time asking Crystal if she likes to puke it up, adding that HER method of keeping the weight off is to just poop it out, because she hates barfing. At this point, I'm wondering if this isn't just an orchestrated effort by the mean girls to get Crystal to quit the show. They know how fragile she is, and how easy it is to violate her. But hey, whatever works.
Between it being the holidays, when the cast reportedly wanted (but was denied) some time off, the Covid casualties, and Kathy holding out for more money, this episode felt very discombobulated to me. Nothing much happened. As I mentioned, Kyle and Kathy had lunch together, but it's even more awkward and weird than usual. Kathy flat out lies, telling Kyle that she is impossible to get hold of, but Kyle presents receipts in the form of 50 unanswered texts and calls. The truth is, none of it makes sense considering they just saw each other for Thanksgiving (which is also the Hilton's anniversary), and at Paris' wedding.
But the episode wasn't a total wash, and did reveal four things for me. Kathy and Kyle have never been and never will be close, the women have started the process of ousting Crystal from the show, Diana is NEVER going to like Sutton, and Diana somehow bred with, and is marrying a gay man.
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