How ironic that one of the most explosive seasons in RHOBH history would produce one of the most uneventful and pointless finales in RHOBH's eleven season history. Despite admittedly possessing Dorit-like (long winded) tendencies, I’m going to be hard pressed to stretch this thing out into more than a paragraph or two, but here goes.
Crystal and Erika meet at L.A.’s Shan Social House Restaurant where Crystal is planning a Chinese New Year dinner party. She mistakenly tells Erika that the restaurant is where they shot Kill Bill: Volume 1, but in reality, Shan Social House Restaurant is a reproduction of the Kill Bill movie set which was inspired by, and reproduced in the image from a real restaurant in Tokyo named Gonpachi … and IMO, it looks like it. As if the lesson in Chinese dumpling making wasn’t enough, Crystal explains to Erika how important the Chinese New Year is "to her culture" and she personally. Insert eye roll here. Erika pretends to be interested, but would much rather discuss what their respective getups would .
In the meantime, Sutton meets Kathy Hilton at “one of her projects”, an 18,000 sq. ft new construction palace. She tells us that it was being built for she and husband Rick Hilton to live in, but Rick has decided that their existing home is filled with too many good memories to leave, so they are going to put the new home on the market (for $52-3M), and just stay where they are. This sounds very fishy to me, but we will have to wait until next season to get the real story (of Kathy and Rick Hilton's split?). Sutton tells Kathy that she is confused and still very apprehensive about she and Erika, and Kathy pleads with her not to cause a scene at Crystal’s dinner. However, as we saw on their trip to Del Mar, Erika already apologized to her, but apparently that wasn’t enough.
In another filler scene, "Fox Force Four" (Kyle, Erika, Dorit, and Lisa) meet for dinner. Kyle tells Erika that her combative Instagram posts are not helping her case in the court of public opinion. Huh? You mean it’s not a good idea to tell online followers (whom celebrities love to call “trolls”) to eat your kitty? Rinna, who has battled her own fair share of online trolls (over what she claims were politics) agrees, but adds that sometimes it’s worth it.
Shit stirrer Kyle then brings up to Erika, that Sutton is still confused about Tom’s alleged accident, and that she still just doesn’t trust Erika. The feeling is mutual as Erika tells the ladies that Sutton is about to get smacked in the mouth. But again, none of this is making sense because we saw Erika apologize to Sutton in Del Mar; for “lashing out” and threatening her ... she even held her arm and called her “sweetie”! So what in the world happened between Del Mar and the present? In my mind, either production is telling them to “keep the fight going”, or it's just really sloppy editing.
It’s the big finale scene at Crystal's dumb Chinese New Year’s dinner. All women are present and accounted for, and a few of them have brought along their significant others. 90 Day Fiance-turned-husband Woody Rob is there to support Crystal, Pee Kye, Sutton’s boyfriend, and Mauricio, who is stoned as usual and hitting the restaurant’s (((bong))). Something tells me that he was hitting another kind of bong in the limo ride to the dinner.
Kathy has brought along fashionisto Elliott Mintz as her dinner companion. As some fans may remember, Elliott and Rinna bonded at the Kemsleys dinner party way back when Rinna was meeting them for the first time, and Dorit and PK rudely left Rinna and Mintz sitting alone at the table. Rinna, who is serving serious Pulp Fiction realness, is thrilled to see her old “partner in crime”.
Garcelle tells us that her date with “Keith” (set up by a matchmaker) didn’t work out, so she's riding solo as well. BTW, here’s a tip for you ladies ... when a middle aged buffed single man shows up with sushi and a woolen scarf draped around his neck as a fashion accessory, he may be pinch hitting for the other team. But I digress; Garcelle takes Lisa aside and proposes that she reaches out to Denise Fucking Richards. While Lisa receives the request with polite trepidation, in a talking head that immediately follows, Lisa tells us that she and Denise’s beef is none of Garcelle’s effing business. Then in her talking head, Garcelle tells us that Rinna needs to demonstrate “growth” for her.
At dinner, in an obvious attempt to get things going, producer Kyle brings up “sweeping things under the rug”. Sutton takes her cue and gives a nice speech, saying she doesn’t want to start the New Year with any ill feelings between she and Erika. Yeah, not much she doesn’t. Erika gives her best stone face and doesn’t say anything (*cue the cricket sounds). Finally, Garcelle prompts Erika to say something … anything! So Erika responds with “I have nothing to say.”. Oh boy. So Sutton tries again. “That was from the heart … I know I speak for us all when I say we all want to see you come out of this shining bright.”. Holding her ground, Erika says, “I said thank you.”. There is no question that Erika is being annoying, but it’s hard to buy what Sutton is selling, especially when she’s been so vicious in her talking heads. Saying things like "Why am I trying so hard with this woman?" and "What do these women see in her?". IMO, these are very hurtful comments that cut to the core, and I don't see how anyone could get past that.
Everyone gets up to go to the patio bar for dessert and Kyle and Sutton go to powder their noses. In the ladies john, Sutton flat out lies and tells Kyle that she never did get an apology from Erika. Evidentally, we as viewers are supposed to turn into liberal sheeple and just ignore what what we saw with our own lying eyes, that is Erika apologizing to Sutton in Del Mar? Kyle saw it too, so why didn’t she correct her? None of this is making sense.
At the dessert table, Sutton tells Erika that she meant no ill will and would love a one on one with her. Erika tells her that she just needs some time. I’m team Kunty on this one. I could seemingly get past it, and even make nice on occasion, but without loyalty, there is no real friendship.
Well whattayaknow, I can't believe I was able to get more than a few paragraphs out of this one, and I didn't even have to resort to a lot of filler; like complaining about the incessant and pointless mask usage. But since I brought it up, why are they all putting masks on as they get out of their cars or limos, just to walk 20 ft. to a store, restaurant, or venue's door, and then whipping them off as they enter? Is Covid-19 running rampant on CA sidewalks? Make no sense.
Pet peeve #2. The stupid double air kisses (with sound effects!) whenever they meet/greet one another is driving me nuts!
Pet peeve #3. Following any interaction between the women, you can almost hear a producer cueing one of the ladies, husbands, or members of their glam squads to say "So how did it go last night with the such and such?". Reflecting on every fcking encounter is so fake and tiresome!
Part one of the four part reunion starts next week, and it looks like it's going to be a doozy.
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