The Icewoman Cometh … and Melting?

 

 

The women go on the proverbial wine tasting tour, but at least it's in a genuine old discarded San Francisco trolley car.  All the women are present and accounted for except for Erika, who stays in her suite to wallow in her victimhood ... and pig out on room service. Of course, Kunty’s absence gives the group the chance to gossip, and continue questioning her stories. As Garcelle so aptly put it, her stories ARE unbelievable, because they’re hard to believe! It also gives them the opportunity to perform some really bad impressions of Erika. I mean c’mon, how difficult is it to hold your nose while saying “If you ever call me a liar again, I’m coming for you”?  Kathy Hilton leaves the wine tasting because she has a headache (obviously from the tannins), but blames it on being hit in the head with a golf ball when she was a kid filming a Barbie commercial (I’m thinking, ah yes, the final piece to the puzzle). BTW, I never knew that she too was a child actress.

 

As the gossiping continues, Dorit says, “We don’t want to push Erika too far, but you look like an idiot for not asking questions.”. I think Dorit has done a really “goot” job this season playing the devil’s advocate pertaining to the absurdity of Erika’s many stories. For example, when Erika says that Tom did a lot of good for a lot of people, but none of them are stepping up right now, Dorit says (in a talking head), “Yeah, but if he did what he’s accused of doing, he did a lot of bad stuff too.”. Actually Kyle’s talking heads have been spot on this season as well.

 

When she and Erika try their hands at a game of pickle ball, Erika tells Kyle that when the divorce is finalized, she’ll walk away with nothing, and that she told her lawyer that she expects nothing.  Yeah, we already knew this, but in the mic drop moment of the episode,  she actually says to Kyle "I have zero dollars".  I don't doubt that she's adjusting to a more stringent budget, but after FIVE seasons on the freaking RHOBH, she's got to be pulling in several hundred thousand a season (and she probably doubled that this year).  Kyle says, “Well, the most important thing is that the victims get their money.”. Maybe from a moral point of view, but I’m still not so sure that a soon-to-be-ex spouse (who has no legal ties to the other’s company) can be held financially responsible for the debts of their estranged spouse’s company, especially when there is a prenup which states the other gets nothing.  I would think Keese (the other name on the door and Girardi's law partner) would be far more liable.

 

 

Later that day, they women all gather for a beautifully set up dinner on the grounds of the Del Mar.  As they enjoy cocktails before dinner, Erika is in rare form, and actually displaying what appears to be a sense of humor.  The women are laughing and gushing over Erika's self-depreciating humor as she shares rare tidbids about her son, (lack of) love life, and even addresses rumors of she and cannibal actor Armie Hammer.  Kyle chimes in; "So yeah, things could always be worse ... at least you're not being chopped up and eaten".  Then to everyone's shock and surprise, Erika actually talks to Sutton directly and in front of the group, telling her how she admires her business savvy.  It was undoubtedly the hot toddies talking, but nevertheless, a nice moment.

 

 

The next day they are all head out for an excursion on a gorgeous sailboat schooner, and as they are walking the dock, Erika privately (formally) apologizes to Sutton. Erika seems genuinely sorry, saying that she was angry at her f-ed up situation, and lashed out. Sutton graciously accepts her apology and then just as the group does a collective “Aw ...we’re so happy”, Erika and Sutton angrily trash each other in their respective confessionals. Erika says, “I hate her. I was just doing this to not ruin the trip,” and Sutton says, “Yeah, thanks for the apology, but I don’t trust her.”. It was so weird and nonsensical that I wondered if it was a gaff, and they edited in the wrong talking heads.  But then it occurred to me that this is that cross that the HW’s must bear; reigniting all those ill feelings after actually witnessing the bad behavior on film. I am reminded that the HW series is like The Bachelor; a premise deliberately designed to cause hurt and unhappiness.

 

 

On the boat, Erika tells the ladies that she is very aware that she is being watched and scrutinized. “If I look like I’m having too good of a time, I’m not remorseful. If I look a little too good, I have no shame. I want to have fun, and I want to laugh, but if I laugh too much, I get criticized for that, and if I hang my head in shame, then I’m clearly guilty of something. I can not win.”. Of course, she is right, but that’s the price one pays for fame; especially when you put your real life out there for reality TV.

 

The finale airs next week, and then as reported, the four part reunion begins airing after that, which will take us all the way up to Nov. 3rd!  This has indeed been one jam packed season.  Before closing, I found it really interesting that in the finale, we see Garcelle more or less demanding that Rinna make things right with Denise Fcking Ragamuffin Richards.  This has me thinking that there may be something to this wide speculation that DR will be indeed be back, but at whose expense?  I guess it's possible that there could be a record number of eight full time cast members, but if I were Crystal and/or Dorit, I'd be very worried.