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RHOBH Rundown: S11 E14 Lips Unsealed
Lisa Rinna has wisely held onto some of her truly gorgeous vintage clothing. She and Harry Hamlin’s daughter’s, Amelia and Delilah, along with the latter’s Love Island resident stud muffin Eyal Booker, are taking a break from their illustrious modeling careers and getting a personal tour of some of Lisa’s more dare I ”iconic” gowns that she has worn throughout her hustle. We’re talking vintage couture baby; everything from Versace. Tom Ford, Allayah, and Gucci. The girls try on a few of the timeless pieces, but admittedly, I’m too busy gawking at Eyal and wondering why in the heck Rinna would store such valuable clothes in an 80 year old musty garage. Case in point, her mother's (ruined) water-stained wedding dress.
Erika is having Lisa and birthday girl Kyle, 52, over for some chocolate cake and champagne. Together, they gift Kyle with a cute vintage faux fur jacket that Lisa insists is not re-gifted from her stank garage (*side eye). Fun fact: Kyle shares a Jan 11 birthday with my sister, and recently departed mom and aunt, although I’m not hugely into the Zodiac, there is no mistaking the “persistent and disciplined” personalities of the typical Capricorn in all four. Erika’s cute little dollhouse is coming along nicely, but I guess she’s taking her time on finding the perfect kitchen table to go with the Kiwi upholstered chairs that she was able to make off with (during her escape). Perhaps I should tweet Kunty; I have in mind a rustic espresso walnut round table from Auhaus that would go very nicely. Do they have Auhus's in CA?
Crystal C*nt Foo is providing the space for Lisa’s Lip Kit Launch Party in her beautiful back yard, presumably at Rinna’s expense. Crystal tells us that she loves to entertain, and hosts two or three “events” at her home a week (ya ... sure). Who knew Crystal was an Asian Martha Stewart, but twice as c*nty? She pulled out all the stops, and the space really is gorgeous, although it does seem like a bit much, especially for just the usual eight ladies. My guess is despite Gruesome Nusom's orders, this launch turned out to be one huge shindig after filming wrapped for the day, out of sight from the prying eyes of the cameras, because as we all know with the libs, it's do as I say, not as I do. But regardless, the space is Instagram ready; complete with the proverbial white draped walls and lighting, plush living room furniture, chandeliers, countless umbrella tables, a lush table setting, and even floating inflatable lips in the pool.
The lady of the hour is serving up really cute Valley of the Dolls realness, the hostess in off white Chanel chic, Erika in some blue mini-coat dress number with (clashing) blue thigh high boots, the Richards sisters their usual billowy ugly printed dresses (in January), Garcelle in a butchy pants suit, Sutton looking like a Christmas tree, and finally, Dorit . . . killing it in a top knot and gorgeous Gaultier powder blue dress with straps, buckles, cut outs, and tasteful ruffles (Sutton take note) … and not one obnoxious “label” in sight! BTW, has anyone else noticed how Dorit has morphed into Kim Kardashian (sans the huge ass and boobs)?
Speaking of Dorit, she has a bone to pick with Garcelle, and apparently Rinna’s Lips Kit launch party is as good a place as any to hash it out. She feels like Garcelle has been taking jabs at her, and in case we weren’t paying attention, they then run the proverbial B&W footage of receipts; all incidents that just happened to be be caught on camera. This is as good a time as any to mention that for me, these flashbacks always have the opposite affect of which they were intended. Like what are the odds that said grievances are always key scenes (recently) caught on camera? To make matters worse, Dorit doesn’t even have that many examples of what she’s talking about, so for me the squabble just looks like “Hey, we better give Dorit and Garcelle some camera time”. But whatevs, I’ll play along.
Dorit proceeds to list examples of Garcelle calling her out on her shit, namely being long winded, two faced, and a lousy friend. Although I don’t think we as the viewers have really seen it, but apparently Dorit DOES talk too damn much and monopolizes conversations, and yes, she WAS being two-faced when they all confronted Erika last week, and she even goes as far as calling Garcelle a bully. Although Garcelle’s feathers are obviously ruffled, she is “receiving” Dorit’s criticism, even if it is in that deliciously sarcastic “actressey” kind of way that Garcelle is so good at. For the record, as far as “bullying” goes, Dorit might want to check out season 2, when the Richard sisters made fun of Brandi Glanville’s off-the-rack clothes, her giraffe-like stature, and hid her crutches. Then in season 4, Brandi repeatedly called sweet Joyce “Jacqueline” (because she hated the name Joyce), a big fat pig, and then a “black person”, because she couldn’t swim. RHONY's Slurinda Medley's atrocious behavior towards Tinsley comes to mind as well . . . THESE are examples of “bullying”.
But I digress; perhaps not getting the reaction that she was hoping for, Dorit then accuses Garcelle of deliberately betraying Erika’s trust (in La Quinta) by bringing up to the group that Tom still calls her all the time. OK, now she went too far. From across the lunch table, Garcelle screams “Fuck you for that!”, explaining once again that that situation with Erika was totally unrelated to Dorit. Then for good measure, Garcelle repeats “F you” three more times, but this time adding that she’s “not quite sure where she fits in with this group” (*mic drop), and then proceeds to perform the “Housewife storm off”. The other ladies all chime in, reassuring Garcelle that they really are willing to accept a black women into their fold do like her. Add another "ya, sure" here. Crises overted for now.
As Sutton tries to comfort Garcelle, ticking time bomb Erika seizes the opportunity to tell Sutton to shove her “Miss Small Town Reputation” where the sun doesn’t shine. Whoa, what? But more on that next week! Throughout the entire scene, the looks on the other women’s faces are priceless, and remains for me, the reason why the Beverly Hills franchise will always be on another level. I suppose it’s the actress in them.
The episode ends with Kathy having Kyle over for an informal sisterly holiday luncheon. Over salad and little sammies served on TV trays, the conversation quickly turns to their infamous squabble, and subsequent decade-long estrangement. For years, word on the mean streets of Beverly Hills was that the Hiltons got their snooty noses out of joint because Mauricio left Kathy’s husband Rick’s real estate agency to start his own “Agency”. That undoubtedly got the ball rolling, but as with most family riffs, it was more a conglomeration of events. It turns out Kyle’s short-lived autobiographical American Woman was what really what sent Kathy over the edge. For Kyle, the show was truly a love letter to their mom, and only “loosely based” on their life at that. But Kathy’s (valid) argument was that Kyle would have to be an idiot not to realize that the world (that is the 300K-average audience who watched it), would look at it as an autobiographical adaptation. Then to make matters worse, Kathy tells Kyle that she would never have done a project like this without her (and Kim’s) input, let alone consent. I’m sure there is much more to it, but I think I’m team Kathy on this.
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